hey guys, today was quite an uneventful day, woke up at like 1pm and went for tuition at bishan which started arnd 5.30. was quite good but i was quite lost cos he was like going through electrolysis and i totally didnt care abt tt topic last yr since it wasnt tested for promos. so it was good to learn wad i had missed.
if u wanted an update on tt friend thing i talked abt yesterday, i think u might have noticed on my cbox tt we are on good terms. i was a bit tired yesterday so i got quite pissed when she reacted so hostily so i had to talk abt it on my blog (sry tt person) but everythings fine now and ill keep praying for her.
so other than those 2 things tt went on, nothing much happened. OH...just rmbed my dad just went to cambodia to do some stuff tt i cant really recall wad but he might be meeting the drama pple from ac so tts quite cool. but i dont really noe any drama pple (except maybe ishaan and i really dont want anyone to noe i noe him) so its not tt big a deal. well im gonna turn in now since theres church tmr. pastor edmund's coming to speak so tts quite cool. OH!! and im helping usher tmr since the actual usher has to go for RTC camp (so like tmr church is gonna be so few pple since as most of u noe my church's youth grp is like made up of 99.99999999% bb and gb girls with me and my sis the oldest youths tt came from the church so the attendance tmr will be like so pathetic) k then cyas:)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
hey guys, really good day today tt might have ended badly. anyways more on the good things first. went playing l4d2 and had loads of fun. been a really long time since i played it but i realised tt i need to get tgt with good players also so tt i can finish a campaign. i mean its fun to play with great friends like jan and jia lei but we always get killed quite easily so im looking for some new partners in l4d2 to play with too. after tt went to buy comics and then had to rush back to sch cos someone caused me to be late. rushed back to prep for my sharing and my heart. well thank God my sharing went well and i think tt the cf-ers benefited from it (hopefully). met some new j1s and managed to have a good time of fellowship with them and had a great time of fellowship today as a whole. so basically the day was going fine.
on a side-note, some exclusive behind the scenes to my prep for my sharing. shared a bit of this to my ng today. well the thing is tt when i realised i had to share abt attitude for evangelism, i realised tt my attitude in the past was nv really good. i sort of did it out of obligation and cos pple were looking at wad i was doing. the main times tt i tried to evangelise were during youth camp and cos i was a group leader i felt obligated to evangelise. there were a few times when i did have the right attitude but those were few and far between. so when i started my prep, it was kinda tough. and cos i didnt have any material to help me and like i had to start from scratch, it was even tougher. thankfully, God spoke to me in many different ways. through sermons in church, devotions in sch or just incidents tt happened to me, i drew so many thoughts from it and immediately took note of them in my iPhone (thank God for my iphone). its really awesome of how God can speak to u and through the prep it helped me rmb these right attitudes too. btw actually i wanted to add perseverance and prayer to the list of attitudes but it didnt fit the acronym but those are 2 attitudes tt i find are really impt too. and i was going to use a analogy abt how we venture to sell our funorama tickets so all the more we shld venture to share our faith but it slipped my mind at tt pt in time. i was like totally nervous at the start but it got better as it progressed but still i was nervous. but thank God tt He still managed to use a nervous wreck like i was.
anyways i was just talking to a friend tt i always thought i was quite close to and like someone i really care abt but i dont noe why but the convo took quite a bad turn. not sure whether i got her when she was alr in quite a bad mood or our relationship has changed but its not something to bother myself rite now. ill settle it tmr and if it still persists ill bitch abt it here. so ill let u noe how it goes. well im gonna turn in now so cyas:)
on a side-note, some exclusive behind the scenes to my prep for my sharing. shared a bit of this to my ng today. well the thing is tt when i realised i had to share abt attitude for evangelism, i realised tt my attitude in the past was nv really good. i sort of did it out of obligation and cos pple were looking at wad i was doing. the main times tt i tried to evangelise were during youth camp and cos i was a group leader i felt obligated to evangelise. there were a few times when i did have the right attitude but those were few and far between. so when i started my prep, it was kinda tough. and cos i didnt have any material to help me and like i had to start from scratch, it was even tougher. thankfully, God spoke to me in many different ways. through sermons in church, devotions in sch or just incidents tt happened to me, i drew so many thoughts from it and immediately took note of them in my iPhone (thank God for my iphone). its really awesome of how God can speak to u and through the prep it helped me rmb these right attitudes too. btw actually i wanted to add perseverance and prayer to the list of attitudes but it didnt fit the acronym but those are 2 attitudes tt i find are really impt too. and i was going to use a analogy abt how we venture to sell our funorama tickets so all the more we shld venture to share our faith but it slipped my mind at tt pt in time. i was like totally nervous at the start but it got better as it progressed but still i was nervous. but thank God tt He still managed to use a nervous wreck like i was.
anyways i was just talking to a friend tt i always thought i was quite close to and like someone i really care abt but i dont noe why but the convo took quite a bad turn. not sure whether i got her when she was alr in quite a bad mood or our relationship has changed but its not something to bother myself rite now. ill settle it tmr and if it still persists ill bitch abt it here. so ill let u noe how it goes. well im gonna turn in now so cyas:)
Friday, March 12, 2010
hey guys, today was quite a fun day after being bored for a few hrs at home. after waking up arnd 11 and using the com, i asked jia lei wad he was doing and he kept on asking me to join him, jeannette and ester to go watch alice. well sad to say it wasent a really good movie but i still had fun talking and hanging out with them. well tts basically wad i did today.
todays qt really struck me cos its wad im always amazed tt happens. u noe how we always learn things like how we shld trust God and stuff especially during a period of stress then when u get stressed out again u forget the lesson and forget to trust God? then amazingly God reminds u again and u rmb to trust God. but the cycle repeats itself over and over again. i mean of course w always make a point not to forget but we are all human and sooner or later we forget again. but the amazing thing tt i find is tt God is so patient and loving tt he constantly reminds us. i mean we forget things so easily and God could just say tt He reminded us alr and its our fault tt we forget the lesson but He is so loving tt He still reminds us after countless times of forgetting. isnt tt really amazing? or isit just me?
well tmr going to l4d2 (WEEEEEE!!!! all u pple tt i asked and said u were busy, its ur loss:P) so im gonna have a great time tmr. then im gonna be sharing during cf so pls pray for me guys. hopefully i can do a good job and glorify Him through my sharing. k im gonna sleep now. cyas:)
todays qt really struck me cos its wad im always amazed tt happens. u noe how we always learn things like how we shld trust God and stuff especially during a period of stress then when u get stressed out again u forget the lesson and forget to trust God? then amazingly God reminds u again and u rmb to trust God. but the cycle repeats itself over and over again. i mean of course w always make a point not to forget but we are all human and sooner or later we forget again. but the amazing thing tt i find is tt God is so patient and loving tt he constantly reminds us. i mean we forget things so easily and God could just say tt He reminded us alr and its our fault tt we forget the lesson but He is so loving tt He still reminds us after countless times of forgetting. isnt tt really amazing? or isit just me?
well tmr going to l4d2 (WEEEEEE!!!! all u pple tt i asked and said u were busy, its ur loss:P) so im gonna have a great time tmr. then im gonna be sharing during cf so pls pray for me guys. hopefully i can do a good job and glorify Him through my sharing. k im gonna sleep now. cyas:)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
hey guys, terms are finally over!!! YAY!!! wells the upside is tt i get to slack now but the downside is tt i have nothing to do!!! since most of my friends take bio, i couldnt go out with anyone today. so i spent the whole day today on the com. and its just tt i find i dont get the same enjoyment out of being on the com as i did in the past. dont get me wrong i still enjoy using the com but its not the same. i really need to be arnd friends. at least i get to meet everyone on fri.
i dont noe why but its always times like these when i wish i had a gf. i guess its mainly the lack of human interaction talking since i noe i dont really want a gf rite now like i said in one of my past posts. sigh...i noe i still can msg my friends but its totally different from meeting them and talking to them face to face. well its only one more day but im gonna be so bored tmr. well its all part of life and at least i still have God. i cant imagine how non-Christians go through these times of loneliness. well its getting late now so i guess im gonna turn in. all the best to all of u still having papers. oh btw ill be sharing on fri so pls pray for me. thx guys. cyas:)
i dont noe why but its always times like these when i wish i had a gf. i guess its mainly the lack of human interaction talking since i noe i dont really want a gf rite now like i said in one of my past posts. sigh...i noe i still can msg my friends but its totally different from meeting them and talking to them face to face. well its only one more day but im gonna be so bored tmr. well its all part of life and at least i still have God. i cant imagine how non-Christians go through these times of loneliness. well its getting late now so i guess im gonna turn in. all the best to all of u still having papers. oh btw ill be sharing on fri so pls pray for me. thx guys. cyas:)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
hey guys its getting late so im just checking in before i turn in. ltr im taking my LAST PAPER!!! YAY!!! but its the paper tt i dont even noe wads going on in. hence my fb status if u noticed. the physics department in acjc cant really teach!!! i mean they are nice pple and all but i dont really get much out from the lessons so im gonna be starting on physics tuition soon.
anyways todays qt was abt busyness abt the story abt Mary and Martha and although i find tt we shld always be like both Mary and Martha to a certain extent (like every good GP student noes there shld not be an absolute) cos well if no one wrks to prepare the place for God to wrk, the place is not prepared. so we still must be a bit like Martha in tt we shld prepare the place but we shld not be like her in tt we forget abt God through our busyness. and tts wad i find myself doing lately, especially in CF. i think ive said tt i find myself getting distracted during CF thinking of how NG time shld be conducted and everything so this passage really spoke to me. i really feel tt i shld be enjoying God's presence more during CF instead of bothering abt how to settle the next thing and just let God handle everything. i mean ill do my best to prepare beforehand but i have decided tt when CF starts, ill stop wrying abt wads happening next and just let God take charge. ill still help settle stuff during CF if the need arises but ill not wry abt it until the need arises. i really want to enjoy CF like how i used to enjoy it when i could just enjoy the fellowship with God.
this really opened my eyes and like even now with the NGs and stuff i have decided not to wry abt it so much and ask God for help cos wad can i do without the presence of God in it? how much can i do? well ill just entrust all this things to God and let Him use me for His wrk and not be too busy tt i forget Him. isnt it ironic when u forget God when u do things for Him. its not only ironic but also quite sad i find. so tts my resolution for the new month and ill just let go and let God. k im gonna turn in nowz. cyas:)
anyways todays qt was abt busyness abt the story abt Mary and Martha and although i find tt we shld always be like both Mary and Martha to a certain extent (like every good GP student noes there shld not be an absolute) cos well if no one wrks to prepare the place for God to wrk, the place is not prepared. so we still must be a bit like Martha in tt we shld prepare the place but we shld not be like her in tt we forget abt God through our busyness. and tts wad i find myself doing lately, especially in CF. i think ive said tt i find myself getting distracted during CF thinking of how NG time shld be conducted and everything so this passage really spoke to me. i really feel tt i shld be enjoying God's presence more during CF instead of bothering abt how to settle the next thing and just let God handle everything. i mean ill do my best to prepare beforehand but i have decided tt when CF starts, ill stop wrying abt wads happening next and just let God take charge. ill still help settle stuff during CF if the need arises but ill not wry abt it until the need arises. i really want to enjoy CF like how i used to enjoy it when i could just enjoy the fellowship with God.
this really opened my eyes and like even now with the NGs and stuff i have decided not to wry abt it so much and ask God for help cos wad can i do without the presence of God in it? how much can i do? well ill just entrust all this things to God and let Him use me for His wrk and not be too busy tt i forget Him. isnt it ironic when u forget God when u do things for Him. its not only ironic but also quite sad i find. so tts my resolution for the new month and ill just let go and let God. k im gonna turn in nowz. cyas:)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
hey guys, today's the killer day. maths and chem both h2s. im so gonna be dead after today. anyways im feeling a bit better since yesterday's rant and i really thank the people arnd me for helping me through this bad time in my life. i dont think anyone other than a certain someone has realised tt ive come out of hiatus so i guess u will see this when u see it. anyways im sort of lost in a state of shld i care? but i dont really care dilemma abt my studies. its just tt i feel tt i shld be caring more than i alr do abt my studies but in truth i really couldnt care less. i just feel tt as long as i do my best why wry bout the paper? but i always feel tt i shld be stressed out or something cos pple arnd me are stressed out over their papers which i dont get at all. and some pple are asking me to study more. i totally get why they are asking me to study cos they are worried for me but im just doing wad i think is necessary especially since terms dont really matter.
well if any of u want updates on my love life btw it is in a total state of nonexistence since i realised tt i dont really think of her as someone tt i would want to get tgt with even though i might still have feelings for her? does tt make any sense wadsoever? well its just tt although my heart may skip a beat when i see her i cant really see us tgt and well i guess its for the best anyways since i doubt she has any feelings for me. i guess this would be the first time any of u would noe this so SURPRISE!!! im no longer emoing bout a girl anymore. but im still emoing as usual over other more impt stuff. so all u speculators can stop speculating who it is and all of u tt alr noe who the girl is can just pretend it nv happened cos its not happening. so im single once again (lucky girls rite?) but i really dont see myself getting into a relationship anytime soon (awww too bad girls)
anyways enough of my fake egoness (its fake u noe tt rite?) and its time to sleep. so im gonna turn in and hopefully ill be wide awake tmr to take my 2 papers tmr. and hopefully i dont disappoint ryan (my chem tutor and obviously not ranjiv singh, u noe how i feel abt the extra sji boy) k then cyas:)
well if any of u want updates on my love life btw it is in a total state of nonexistence since i realised tt i dont really think of her as someone tt i would want to get tgt with even though i might still have feelings for her? does tt make any sense wadsoever? well its just tt although my heart may skip a beat when i see her i cant really see us tgt and well i guess its for the best anyways since i doubt she has any feelings for me. i guess this would be the first time any of u would noe this so SURPRISE!!! im no longer emoing bout a girl anymore. but im still emoing as usual over other more impt stuff. so all u speculators can stop speculating who it is and all of u tt alr noe who the girl is can just pretend it nv happened cos its not happening. so im single once again (lucky girls rite?) but i really dont see myself getting into a relationship anytime soon (awww too bad girls)
anyways enough of my fake egoness (its fake u noe tt rite?) and its time to sleep. so im gonna turn in and hopefully ill be wide awake tmr to take my 2 papers tmr. and hopefully i dont disappoint ryan (my chem tutor and obviously not ranjiv singh, u noe how i feel abt the extra sji boy) k then cyas:)
Sunday, March 7, 2010
HIATUS OVER!!!
hey guys the long dreaded hiatus is finally over. wad really got me to start writing again is tt i really felt tt my life was going through a crappy stage. its like i dont really noe wads wrong just tt something is wrong. well terms are gonna start in a few hrs but thankfully the papers tt i have today arent tt bad. anyways as most of u noe i dont really get stressed out over my studies so tt cant be the reason im feeling crappy right?
well maybe cf is tiring me out. i sometimes find myself asking whether im doing more than wad is expected of me. so maybe its just my own fault im tired out. my portfolio is alr so much and maybe im too nice or wadever trying to help my other comm members out but isnt tt wad i as a comm member shld do? i mean if i see tt someone needs my help obviously i cant just leave the person to do it by themselves. if i can help why not help rite? actually i think tt the main thing tt totally crapped my life are the j1s. i mean the j1s are totally cool and i love them but i just dont noe how to do things to accommodate them. like the ngs. oh my pong the ngs. THE NGS!!!!!! tt totally stresses me out. finding the ngls and sorting them out was totally tough but now tt ive gotten the ngs totally nicely in place, i cant find ngls tt are willing to take up the responsibility. i mean the responsibility isnt tt much but if they feel tt it isnt wad God has in store for them who am i to argue? its just tt its really tough to find regular CF-ers who are able to be ngls. i mean if i can get the councillors to be ngls my life would be so easy but they arent regular cos of their council stuff and there are other pple tt i would like to use tt are just too busy.
just to make a slight tangent, i realised something today tt made me come back to writing. is life so crappy tt i have no time to write or isit crappy cos i dont write. i mean after i started this blog my life really was more lifted cos i could express my feelings but after getting too distracted with my life i didnt really get to express my feelings. i tried talking it out with my good friends but its really different when u get to type it out. and so back to the point abt my crappy life. i think another part abt cf tt stresses me out is tt im wondering why pple cant help me when im like going arnd helping pple. not to name names but sometimes its just so hard when u ask for some help and their reason why they cant help is tt they are too tired or some other crappy reason. i mean arent i tired too? and then u tell me because u are too tired why not just scrap the whole idea and then u blame me as ur reason for scrapping the idea in the first place. why not u just tell me tt u are too tired and tt i shld go by myself to get the stuff. i mean its better than telling me to scrap the idea. i dont want to praise myself or anything and i dont really care whether u noe wad i do for cf cos all tt matters is tt the pple tt matter noe but i went to buy stuff for the cf welcome tea even though i was really sick. i mean those of u tt saw me sick knew i was totally zoning out and dying but i still went out of my way to get the stuff. and u give me this stupid reason tt u are too tired? i mean of course u give me tt reason i wont force u lahs but come on. i noe tt u are stressed out and busy with ur sch wrk but cant u just help me out abit?
dont get me wrong. i love helping other pple out be it for chapel or the birthday stuff but why cant anyone help me when i need it? its just so screwed up. actually im not really pissed at the comm as pple cos i really really love them but its just their wrk ethic mainly tt pisses me off. in some sort of way i feel tt our portfolios are so different tt basically when we wrk we are sort of segregated. i mean decisions we will always make as a comm but when it comes to our individual portfolios such as discipleship or worship, its all just the pple in charge. so tts why there is not much help given in between each area of cf. well tts wad it may seem like but we still can help each other even if we dont noe the other area well. its just tt i dont see much of this help given rite now. and i dont noe why tt is. maybe its just me. maybe its not. how shld i noe.
i just find myself so stressed out over cf tt even during worship im busy msging the ngls abt ng time and trying to settle stuff (sry ngls) so i just feel tt there is a lot of burden as the discipleship ic cos like the whole running of the cf session is under my portfolio. the schedule the speaker the topic are all under me. wad one comm member said also has given me some stress. i mean its of course a valid point(all her points always are) but she asked me to make sure ng time is fun. tt sort of gave me additional stress cos i have given ng time up to the ngls to carry out as and how they like it and i dont really want to usurp the authority tt i have given them in a sense. like i dont want to tell them how to run their ng time. so now the stress tt i have is tt wad if ng time is not fun or even good? i mean before the j1s came in everyone knew each other and just had fun talking but now if the j1s dont have fun or does not enjoy ng time, would they come back again? and if tt is the case am i to blame? if the topic does not seem exciting or fun and the j1s are turned off by it am i to blame? am i to blame if the cf meeting does not go well? actually i just figured out wad is wrong with me in cf. i keep on thinking whether i am to blame and it just puts on the burden.
well ive ranted off quite a bit and i sort of have more things to say but its getting late and ive got papers tmr so im gonna go off rite now. cyas:(
well maybe cf is tiring me out. i sometimes find myself asking whether im doing more than wad is expected of me. so maybe its just my own fault im tired out. my portfolio is alr so much and maybe im too nice or wadever trying to help my other comm members out but isnt tt wad i as a comm member shld do? i mean if i see tt someone needs my help obviously i cant just leave the person to do it by themselves. if i can help why not help rite? actually i think tt the main thing tt totally crapped my life are the j1s. i mean the j1s are totally cool and i love them but i just dont noe how to do things to accommodate them. like the ngs. oh my pong the ngs. THE NGS!!!!!! tt totally stresses me out. finding the ngls and sorting them out was totally tough but now tt ive gotten the ngs totally nicely in place, i cant find ngls tt are willing to take up the responsibility. i mean the responsibility isnt tt much but if they feel tt it isnt wad God has in store for them who am i to argue? its just tt its really tough to find regular CF-ers who are able to be ngls. i mean if i can get the councillors to be ngls my life would be so easy but they arent regular cos of their council stuff and there are other pple tt i would like to use tt are just too busy.
just to make a slight tangent, i realised something today tt made me come back to writing. is life so crappy tt i have no time to write or isit crappy cos i dont write. i mean after i started this blog my life really was more lifted cos i could express my feelings but after getting too distracted with my life i didnt really get to express my feelings. i tried talking it out with my good friends but its really different when u get to type it out. and so back to the point abt my crappy life. i think another part abt cf tt stresses me out is tt im wondering why pple cant help me when im like going arnd helping pple. not to name names but sometimes its just so hard when u ask for some help and their reason why they cant help is tt they are too tired or some other crappy reason. i mean arent i tired too? and then u tell me because u are too tired why not just scrap the whole idea and then u blame me as ur reason for scrapping the idea in the first place. why not u just tell me tt u are too tired and tt i shld go by myself to get the stuff. i mean its better than telling me to scrap the idea. i dont want to praise myself or anything and i dont really care whether u noe wad i do for cf cos all tt matters is tt the pple tt matter noe but i went to buy stuff for the cf welcome tea even though i was really sick. i mean those of u tt saw me sick knew i was totally zoning out and dying but i still went out of my way to get the stuff. and u give me this stupid reason tt u are too tired? i mean of course u give me tt reason i wont force u lahs but come on. i noe tt u are stressed out and busy with ur sch wrk but cant u just help me out abit?
dont get me wrong. i love helping other pple out be it for chapel or the birthday stuff but why cant anyone help me when i need it? its just so screwed up. actually im not really pissed at the comm as pple cos i really really love them but its just their wrk ethic mainly tt pisses me off. in some sort of way i feel tt our portfolios are so different tt basically when we wrk we are sort of segregated. i mean decisions we will always make as a comm but when it comes to our individual portfolios such as discipleship or worship, its all just the pple in charge. so tts why there is not much help given in between each area of cf. well tts wad it may seem like but we still can help each other even if we dont noe the other area well. its just tt i dont see much of this help given rite now. and i dont noe why tt is. maybe its just me. maybe its not. how shld i noe.
i just find myself so stressed out over cf tt even during worship im busy msging the ngls abt ng time and trying to settle stuff (sry ngls) so i just feel tt there is a lot of burden as the discipleship ic cos like the whole running of the cf session is under my portfolio. the schedule the speaker the topic are all under me. wad one comm member said also has given me some stress. i mean its of course a valid point(all her points always are) but she asked me to make sure ng time is fun. tt sort of gave me additional stress cos i have given ng time up to the ngls to carry out as and how they like it and i dont really want to usurp the authority tt i have given them in a sense. like i dont want to tell them how to run their ng time. so now the stress tt i have is tt wad if ng time is not fun or even good? i mean before the j1s came in everyone knew each other and just had fun talking but now if the j1s dont have fun or does not enjoy ng time, would they come back again? and if tt is the case am i to blame? if the topic does not seem exciting or fun and the j1s are turned off by it am i to blame? am i to blame if the cf meeting does not go well? actually i just figured out wad is wrong with me in cf. i keep on thinking whether i am to blame and it just puts on the burden.
well ive ranted off quite a bit and i sort of have more things to say but its getting late and ive got papers tmr so im gonna go off rite now. cyas:(
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