Silence + All the Best/Blessed

hey guys, i would like to say a lot but ive not much time cos i need to go sleep now so tt i can wake up early tmr to study. didnt study much cos i thought still got a lot of time but who knew tt my brain would stop functioning and i suddenly took like 1 hr trying to do an easy Maclaurin's series ques. so im gonna go sleep soon and wake up energised to finish the maclaurin's series tutorial.

well first post in some time tt i have to think abt and im so brain dead rite now. the irony is killing me. well i think i post the best in a half dead state anyways since i usually cant think of wad to type in the afternoon. well lets get started with my qt then.

the qt was abt silence. from Psalm 131:
1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.

well this totally reminded me of the silent retreat tt i just had (im sure u rmb it since ive been quoting wad ive learnt since it ended) and well i feel tt silence is a treasure tt we barely have nowadays. we have become so used to noise tt we cannot live without it. i mean how often are we discomforted when we are not talking to anyone and have to play some music to ease ourselves? but i find tt we have to quieten our hearts and ourselves down to allow God the opportunity to speak to us. when we are so busy with the noise of life, we will be distracted and will not be able to hear when God's still, small voice speaks to us. tts why quiet time is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO impt and we shld always take the time to quieten ourselves and remove all distractions and go to the Lord in prayer to allow Him to speak to us.

well tts the gist of wad i have to say abt silence. although i want to say more i dont really have the time to. cos i promised tt i will be talking abt my feelings abt the Good Luck/Lucky/Fortunately thing. im gonna be ranting so if u cant stand my rants well skip to the last para....ok so for those of u who stayed, lets get to my ranting. well wads up with Christians saying Good Luck during exams or like "im so lucky i got great results". i mean i noe it can be just saying since everyone is saying it and like u are so used to it. but there is no such thing as luck. are u attributing ur success to luck? im not saying its evil to say such things but wad are u attributing all the things tt happen to u to? luck? or God?

tts why i feel tt we shld change our vocab to using words like blessed/all the best/thank God. where we attribute the good things tt happen to us to God. well all the best isnt attributing it to God but its better than Good Luck and shorter than "may God help u in ur exam". cant we just make a pt to say something different to attribute the things tt was done to the One who truly did it? whenever i hear a Christian say Good Luck or anything to do with luck i feel like correcting him/her/it (and i do sometimes) but im afraid they might find me anal or something. but tts wad i believe in and im sticking to it. so lets all say we are blessed to be where we are now!!! (and not lucky:)

k tts it for my rant. u pple who dont like my ranting...its safe to read now. k have to turn in now if i want to wake up at 8 to finish up the maclaurin's tutorial. still dont noe how to find range so if u noe pls tell me. haha well tmr got senior/junior comm gathering at jiap's house and tts why i want to finish tt tutorial before going. haha gonna have fun tmr and gonna finish giving out presents. dont really want to carry any over the new yr except the one for the gift exchange on the 2nd. sry to those who i will see on the 2nd cos i wont have any presents for u. well tts wad u get for not asking me out before the new yr. haha well im sure ill buy for u for next yr's Christmas so just wait until then. one yr's not tt long:) well then tts it for today. cyas:)

STUDIED!!! + Last YA Camp Post

hey guys, finally studied today. went to national library and finally studied differentiation and finished the tutorials for chapter 6. haha nv did them during the sch term. met ian first then met kx and jansen at the library. enjoyed my day today and hopefully i can continue to study at home and not get distracted by this stupid com. well lets get started with the last YA Camp Post.

YA Camp Post 205:

hey guys, i was reading the bible and Deuteronomy 32:48-52 which made me reflect. its quite a morbid passage with the Lord telling Moses where he would die and telling him tt he is not able to enter Israel.

but i think tt God has a very impt lesson for me as a comm member in CF. verse 51 states:
"This is because both of you broke faith with me in the presence of the Israelites at the waters of Meribah Kadesh in the Desert of Zin and because you did not uphold my holiness among the Israelites."

this really reminded me tt i shld always keep the faith and uphold His holiness, especially in front of His pple as i may not only be hurting my own faith but the faith of His pple too. so i feel this not only applies to the comm members but to all of us as Christians as our actions will affect the faith of those arnd us as all of us have a certain level of influence over some pple and if they see us not keeping the faith, their faith will be shaken. so lets all rmb to keep the faith and to uphold His holiness not just for our own sakes but for the pple arnd us.

well tts almost it from the 2nd day. may post one more time today but dont hold ur breath. cyas:)

End of Post

well good thing i asked u not to hold ur breaths cos tts it from the YA Camp Series of posts. hope u enjoyed reading my experience with God during the camp. now ive got to come up with new thoughts again. haha need to use my brain again. well tmr will just be spent in front of my wrk (and hopefully not in front of the com) at home. pls pray tt i wont be distracted by the com and hopefully i can finish up another chapter. k then gonna turn in now. cyas:)

L4D2!!! AGAIN!!!! + YA Camp Post 204

hey guys, went to play l4d2 again today with poh and andrea after service. really had fun. managed to study a bit today. YAY!!! haha im gonna be turning in soon cos im getting up relatively early tmr. arnd 10. haha tts early for me. so lets get started with the second last YA Camp post.

YA Camp Post 204:

hey guys, this song has been going through my mind lately and i guess we sing it really often but since the song is so fast, i guess we sometimes miss wad the words mean but lets take some time to meditate on this wonderful song.

BETTER THAN LIFE
Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friends' voices
Better than the biggest dreams in my heart
And that's just the start

Better than getting what i say i need
Better than living the life that i want to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now with Your arms
and never let me go

You O Lord made the sunshine
and the moonlight and the night sky
You give me breath and all Your love
I give my heart to You
Because

I can't stop falling in love with You
I'll never stop falling in love with You
I can't stop falling in love with You
I'll never stop falling in love with You

well this song really conveys God's love for us and how i feel abt Him. well tts it from me for now. cyas:)

End Of Post

haha really need to turn in now. tmr marks a milestone for me. IM GOING TO START STUDYING!!! haha well officially studying i guess. after studying with jan i havent really sat down to study. did a few ques today but dont think tt really counts. i really thank God for such good friends who are willing to meet me to study and to help me. haha tts it for today. cyas:)

I Love My Pri Sch Friends!! + YA Camp Post 203

hey guys, had a marvelous time with some of my pri sch friends today. check out my fb for the pics. really had a great time catching up. i always feel happy when i meet up with them...dont noe why. haha i like really thank God tt im still so close to my pri sch friends even after all these yrs. haha well tmr church starts early so im gonna get started on the post.

YA Camp Post 203:

hey guys, an interesting passage i read just now. i was reading Psalm 73 just now and it really reminded me how sometimes when we see pple enjoying evil and having a great time reveling in their evil ways while we are facing trials of our own.

but the passage really encouraged me as there will come a day when the pple will regret their evil deeds and our trials tt we go through pay off. the Lord is our strength and through Him we will be able to go through our trials. wow after writing tt i realised how much this passage is related to the first passage focused on today. anyways just wanted to encourage u guys wad encouraged me, to keep pure and noe tt those reveling in evil will one day regret it. k then tts it for now. cyas:)

End of Post

well tts it from me today. have a slight headache so gonna sleep. nv do any wrk again. im srsly frustrated with myself. ARRRGGGHHH!!! tmr having combined service with the chinese congregation and after tt im gonna be playing l4d2 with poh and andrea...cant find a 4th person so if u can make it at 2 tmr at cine, pls give me a call:) haha hope ill be able to study some tmr. im really afraid tt im gonna fail the sub papers. k then im gonna turn in now. cyas:)

Just Rmbed

hey guys, just rmbed something tt happened to me yesterday. My phone bill came and it was a whopping 300+ bucks. The main reason was the local data charge(from the GPRS/3G) and like tt totally confused me cos I didn't use it much. To keep a long story short(when have I ever done tt? Well there's a first time for everything), we called them up...twice! And after a lot of persistance they decided to waive the charge.

They said I used 500+ mb and like tts super a lot lahs. Actually, when m1 got the iPhone, they didn't disable something so even if u disable to 3G on ur phone, it will still access 3G and the worst thing is tt they said tt the iPhone is "smart" enough to noe tt when the wifi is to weak, to use 3G. But thank God tt the charge has be waived. Hopefully they follow through with it cos they asked us to pay this bill first and they will rebate the subsequent bills.

Well tts it for now. Gonna meet up with my pri sch friends soon. Haha cyas:)

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HAPPY BOXING DAY!!! + YA Camp Post 202

hey guys, had a wonderful time at the combined service with bcc. managed to pass my presents to ian and weiying. tt was basically my whole day. tried to study but failed again. im getting srsly disappointed with myself. i need to get out of my house and away from this com. well im gonna turn in soon so lets get to post 202:)

YA Camp Post 202:

hey guys, just had a one to one conversation with Robert (one of the retreat friends). he was really encouraging. one thing tt he said was abt how the first step to evangelism shld be to build relationships and how we shld do it to even the unlovable pple.

im sure most of u noe tt i was nv tt close to my class. well it may be cos i cant stand some of them and tt they cant stand me but this conversation has really made me decide to try again to have a good relationship with my class and who noes? i might be able to bring them to Christ. pray for me...pls.

haha well tts it for now, next post is coming soooon!!! cyas:)

End of Post

haha well tts it from me today. wow really short post. hope u guys got wad u wanted for Christmas today/yesterday and even if u did not, tt u felt loved today. anyways isnt tt wad today is all abt? love? God's love for us and His gift tt was given on this very day (although today might not be the actual day). k then gonna turn in nowz. tmr im going out for a picnic at botanical gardens with some of my pri sch friends. cyas:)

ITS CHRISTMAS!!! + YA Camp Post 201

hey guys, had a great day today although was quite stressful. haha the singspiration and basically the whole party went on relatively smoothly today. had a wonderful time remembering of God's love for us and isnt tt basically wad Christmas is abt? well for everyone here...MERRY CHRISTMAS. its the greatest time of the yr and its the day tt really brings joy to me. its not the presents (although they are greatly appreciated) but its the knowledge tt someone is thinking of u when they prepare a present. i always feel a warmth when i receive a present not because i get something new (which i probably have no use for) but its knowing tt someone cares. it could be something cheap like chocs or stationaries but i love it all the same.
Chocs - $2.00, DVDs - $30, knowing tt someone cares - priceless:)

anyways we alr have the best gift of all on Christmas, something tt was given to us over 2000 yrs ago and something tt we have only accepted recently (compared to 2000 yrs, any number of yrs ago tt we became a Christian is recent) it is the birth of Jesus Christ tt is this great gift and really, tts the only gift i need on Christmas. but thx to all of u tt have given me a gift and noe tt they are all treasured. well its time for YA Camp post 201:)

YA Camp Post 201:

hey guys, second day of YA Camp!! first passage tt was focused on today is John 15:1-17. its abt the vine and the branches.

the passage impacted me quite a bit cos as most of u noe, at times when i get into work, i sometimes forget to leave it to God. and verse 5b states "apart from me, you can do nothing." this really reminded me of all the times i forget to go to Him and how stressed out i become. but verse 7 really encourages me as it states "if you remain in me and my wods remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." i mean isnt tt like the best incentive tt you can get from being with the Lord?

verse 2 also impacted me as the retreat friend shared. verse 2b states "while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." he said during his prayer tt although pruning can be painful, God noes to make the best cuts. (for those tt dont noe wad pruning is, check wiki. im looking at u jan:) isnt tt totally true how God makes us more fruitful at times? when we face trials, we complain. but as we look back on the trials tt we face, we realise tt we grew from the experience. i thank God tt i have learnt from my trials tt He has put before me. so the part abt pruning really had an impact on me cos it reminded me tt although making us more fruitful can be a painful process, God will always make the best cuts.

oh i just realised this really amazing thing. just before the session when we focused on tt passage, i was reading the book of Job. in it Job nv cursed God for the plight tt he was in. although he was discouraged, as humans will be. but like i said above, pruning us painful and when Job was tested, he nv cursed God. this is wad we shld do and i find it quite amazing tt God gave me this passage just before the session.

i believe tt Job came out of this with a greater fervor for God and im sure we will come out from the pruning more fruitful than before. k tts it from me from the first passage of today. cyas:)

End of Post

well tts it from me today too. haha quite late alr and still got a combined service with BCC (ian and weiying's church) so cannot be too tired tmr morn. haha want to see ian playing drums during the service tmr. k then good nitezz. cyas:)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!! + YA Camp Post 104

hey guys, its like 3:42 rite now so merry christmas eve!! so had a fun time today. had rehearsal which went quite smoothly. then at nite my fam went to meet up with the tham family for dinner and we had a wonderful time of fellowship. so tt was basically it for today. tried to study and managed to do like two ques from the differentiation tutorial. k then time for post 104!!

YA Camp Post 104:

hey guys, second scripture for YA camp. the passage is from Luke 22:31-34 and 54-62. its abt Peter denying Jesus. this passage really struck me cos it really showed me how easy it is to deny God when we are persecuted. just from the fear of being found out, Peter denied Jesus not just once but 3 times, even after being warned by Jesus. do we also deny Jesus out of the fear we have of being persecuted? i certainly did for the 4 yrs in secondary sch.

it was just so easy to deny God and act lie how everyone else did to avoid any persecution tt i might have faced. especially in my first 2 yrs in secondary sch. i feared to be ostracised and disliked by pple but i thank God tt as i grew older, i realised tt i shld live for God and not men and tt no matter how much persecution i faced, God is there with me.

i thank God tt now in AC, He has taught me to be devoted to Him and to ignore th persecution tt i face. and the guilt from the initial 2 yrs at barker would always remind me to continue to be devoted to Him.

some of u may be facing the same kind of persecution as me, from friends, but some of u may be facing a greater form of persecution, from ur family. but i encourage u, do not deny Him. trust tt He will help u through ur persecution. continue to uphold His will and He will guide u through ur life. pray for each other (and ME!!) tt we will continue to be devoted to Him.

God did not promise us a bed of roses when we become Christians, but He did promise tt He will look over us. i think this phrase really sums up this post. k tts it from the first day of YA Camp. wow 4 posts in one day. God really has been speaking to me during this whole day. really enjoyed today. hope i will continue to experience Him more tmr. k then cyas:)

End of Post

haha so tt was basically it for the first day. will be posting up post 201 tmr. going to be trying to study tmr. have to finalise how im gonna be leading worship first tmr. pls pray for me tt ill be able to lead it well and tt the whole Christmas eve party will go through smoothly. tmr will be a fun day. k then gonna turn in now. super late alr. haha cyas:)

DECODER'S!!! + YA Camp Post 102 + 103

hey guys, went to decoder's today with andrea, stef and poh. had a really great time with them and managed to pass their Christmas presents to them. played so many great games like ugly doll and bang! and tried out taluva and archeology. 2 really great games. cant wait to go there again but i dont have the time!! ok so lets get started on my 2 great posts from the YA Camp:

YA Camp Post 102:

hey guys, someone shared today something tt really impacted me. he/she/it said tt he/she/it didnt really feel God's presence when he/she/it was doing qt. he/she/it just felt like he/she/it was taking lessons out of the passage from he/she/it's own comprehension skills. this really impacted me cos tts how i felt before.

upon some reflection, i realised something: who was it tt gave me the passage? who was it tt gave me this ability of comprehension? well i think all of u noe the answer and well...i find tt this might be one of the ways tt God can speak to us. this can be a way tt He teaches us. and when we really feel God's presence, when He lets His presence be made known, we will truly treasure it. well tts it for now. cyas:)

End of Post

YA Camp Post 103:

hey guys, ive been going around the resort reading many passages and the main topic abt sin is in all the passages with all having a reference to lying. the really prominent passage is from Proverbs 21. verse 6 states "a fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare."

well as i said earlier, i have lied before (which im sure many of us have) but have we really thought much abt it? i mean lying can be really easy for most of us. lying abt simple things such as why i nv did my hmwrk or abt who broke the vase can seem really inconsequential...like who ever got hurt from tt small lie? i have to say tt i have fallen into tt trap so many times. tt is how dangerous sin can really be. it can seem so innocent. "im only trying to get out of trouble wad. everybody's happy!" well...satan is happy. but God is sad...sin no matter how small, is still sin. the Ten Commandments did not say "Thou shalt not lie abt big things" (if it did it would really be quite wierd), it says "Thous shalt not lie". tts it.

so wad can we do when lying is just so easy tt we do it without thinking? well we shld always pray and ask God to constantly remind us and to help us stop lying. tts wad i did after all this reading. haha k tts it for now. cyas:)

End of Post

haha well tts it from me today. tmr ill be back with post 104 and maybe a post from the second day. im gonna go turn in soon cos im going to need to wake up early for worship rehearsal tmr. gonna rehearse for the worship on the 24 and im leading!! if u see this before 10 tmr pls pray for the rehearsal and anyways just pray tt the christmas eve party on 24 will go smoothly. haha tmr will also be having dinner with the tham family. they have really been a blessing when my sis went over to australia and they really took care of her. joanne has also been a great friend since we met (happy i mentioned u?) and i really thank God tt i have been able to noe them. well tts it from me for today. really long post i noe. thanks for reading the whole thing if u did. cyas:)

Psalm 84

hey guys, really was impacted by my qt so i decided to share it even though its so late. 3.35 rite now. haha this psalm was actually given during the YA Camp as one of a few passages to continue reflecting upon after the retreat (if we wanted to). it was the first passage and the amazing thing is tt my qt from my 1 yr old daily bread for today was on Psalm 84 too. so i felt tt God really wanted to speak to me through this passage.

so the psalm is abt how wonderful it is to be with God and to worship Him and trust Him. this struck a chord with me cos in the past (actually only until this yr), i didnt really have a passion to be with God, to be close to Him. i mean yea i knew tt God was great and everything but i didnt really experience Him and didnt really want to get to noe Him better. but this yr really changed me and i now feel how the psalmist feels. tt one day in His courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. i feel as if God is encouraging me to continue to have this passion to be with Him and to have the passion to serve Him.

this passage also brings out a point tt i really have a strong feeling abt. it reminds me like i said abt my past and it really got me to think. i have believed for some time tt one problem tt second gen Christians face is their personal walk with God...their passion for God. i mean a lot of wad we second gen Christians noe of God is from our parents and from how we see God wrks in their lives, we become Christians. but a lot of us i feel do not really have the first hand experience of being touched by God. usually the first gen Christians feel God's presence and greatness personally which makes them decide to be Christians but most of us second gen Christians go by our parents experience. im not saying tt being a second gen Christian is bad, we are blessed to noe abt God earlier in our lives, all im saying is tt this is a common problem tt most of us face. we noe abt God earlier but do we noe God?

i find tt because some of us rely on second hand experiences, we do not have the passion to seek God and do not have the passion to draw closer to God. we take our faith for granted and many of us take going to church for granted. i have seen many first gen Christians in my church truly treasure their time in church as they have faced parental objections since they became Christians and when their parent's hearts are finally softened, u can see how grateful they are to God. i find tt since many of us have been going to church since young tt we may just take it for granted and not truly treasure it like the first gen Christians do.

the worst case scenario tt i have found abt second gen Christians is tt they arent Christians at all. some of them think tt they are Christians just because they grew up in a Christian family and hence they may end up growing up without ever accepting Christ. im sure we once thought tt way...i sure did. but thank God tt He doesnt give up on us and tts why i can say tt im a true Christian today. but there are some pple tt may be stubborn and still be convinced tt they are Christians when they are truly not.

so i challenge all of u second gen Christians to have the passion to draw closer to God and to experience Him first hand and to continue in ur faith. take the time to reflect on how wonderful it is to be able to come to God and how blessed u are to noe abt Him since u were born and to be able to go to church.

for u first gen Christians, dont wry ive not left u guys out. be thankful tt He has touched u and for coming into ur life. continue to have tt passion for Him and treasure the experiences tt u have with Him in ur life. if u are not able to go to church, continue to pray tt He may soften the hearts of whoever is stopping u and continue to want to draw closer to Him, even at home.

k then tts really it from me today. its 3:57 rite now. gonna turn in so tt ill be awake for tmr. stay tuned for posts 102 and 103 of the YA Camp series. oh btw the first digit is the day number so the first post from the second day would be post 201. just for ur info in case u were confused by the wierd posts numbers. i noe some of u can be tt blur (jan...). haha ok then cyas:)

L4D2!!!!! + YA Camp Series Post 101

heys guys, today went to play l4d2 with marcus, han, irfan and poh. totally rocked and we finally finished one campaign!!! haha at least one of us did. we played the parish campaign and han got killed almost immediately in the last chapter when the charger tossed off the bridge. poh and i got killed when our sessions timed out and we couldnt move our characters anymore. for some reason marcus's com was still working so he managed (barely) to get on the chopper. so really enjoyed my time with them today and cant wait to play l4d2 again. ok so the next part of this post will be the first post from the first day. its really how the whole camp started and hope u enjoy my thoughts. haha so here goes.

YA Camp Post 101:

hey guys, did this at my YA Camp. so the scripture tt was used is Psalm 139: 1-12. its like a really great passage cos it really shows how well God noes us and how He is always there even when we try to run away from Him.

i mean sometimes we might want to sin. maybe cos its easier to lie to get out of things or maybe cos the sin gives us pleasure. of course i do lie at times to get out of things but im just human. i guess sometimes we may try to hide behind the sin to avoid God. we might decide not to think abt God when we sin. but verse 12 says tt "even the darkness will not be dark to You." tt even when we sin, He is there. and the encouraging thing i find is tt it continues to say "the night will shine like the day" which i feel tt it is a reassurance tt He will bring us out of our sin.

so lets remind ourselves whenever we are in sin (i mean we try not to but as we are human, it is inevitable), tt He is still there and we can look to Him to bring us out of it, k the next post will be soon...cyas:)

End of YA Camp Post 101

haha so tt was the first post. gonna post the 2nd and 3rd one tmr. gonna be going out with andrea, stef and poh again tmr to decoders cafe to enjoy some fellowship and board games. haha gonna have fun again. dont wry...when i get back i will/try/may study. haha k then cyas:)

I'M BACK!!!

hey guys, im back from the ya camp/silent retreat. really experienced God and i journaled a lot of my thoughts in blog form so for the next few days, my posts will all be from the YA CAMP series of posts. ill still be updating on my life and such but most of my posts will be flashbacks from the last 3 days. it was a really good experience really keeping silent and waiting upon the Lord. cant wait for another silent retreat.

one thing tt i actually was thinking abt during the silence (i mean wad else was there to do when u are silent?) was abt the girl tt i like. haha yea i noe im talking abt her again but its just really frustrating and u noe wad ive really thought abt it with a clear mind and u noe wad my conclusion was? haha i thought to myself, why am i concerning myself so much with her. if its God's will, things will turn out well in the end. why am i getting distracted over this? im like hurting myself for no reason at all. so in a sense, u could say i have given up. but tt does not mean i have stopped liking her. its just tt i have decided to stop trying to chase her. if she decides tt she likes me from my wonderful personality on the other hand, then ill start concerning myself over a relationship. now ive just got to concentrate on my studies cos seeing as how its going rite now, im totally screwed!!!

haha well tts just one of the insights i got from the YA Camp. tmr im going out with poh, han and my friend who went to australia, marcus neo to play l4d2. gonna have fun tmr!! hopefully i can study a bit here and there tmr. haha k then ill start posting up the series tmr. cyas:)

BYEZ

hey guys, ill be going for my young adults camp so i wont be blogging for the next 2 days. anyways ive gotta sleep alr so ill just update a bit. i went to the epicentre at wheelock to get my iphone fixed but they asked me to go all the way to comcentre at somerset to fix it. so after i met amy to discuss abt the schedule, i went to the comcentre and they gave me a totally new one. i was actually quite scared cos tt means all my note, msgs and photos are all gone. + some of my later added contacts also would be gone. but thank God for the backup in my com tt i didnt noe abt. when i plugged my new phone in just now they asked whether i wanted to restore my backup and i was overjoyed. haha so ive got almost everything back. k tts basically mostly wad i did today. gonna turn in now. cyas in 3 days:)

Post 45!!

hey guys, IM BACK!!! haha after the last few days ive decided to blog again. haha sry bout the dumb title but i cant really think of any title for this post. im not even sure its post 45 but i think it is according to my dashboard. haha so the last few days have been totally boring with me on the com almost the whole day. tried to study but keep on getting distracted. tts why i need to go out to study. im not left with much time left to study for my sub papers and im getting quite stressed out. i keep asking myself why i keep getting distracted but i cant seem to stop. ARRRGGGHHH!!! ok got tt out of my system. pls pray for me cos i really really really really x infinity need to study. if not i will fail my sub papers and my service in cf will be affected next yr. which is the perfect segue way into my qt!!:)

ok so my qt today is abt service...yes ive talked abt it before but this is talking abt a different aspect. its on Acts 28:1-10...get ur bible cos it will be too long to post up here. haha but the main gist of wad is brought out of the passage is how there is really no reason not to serve and tt there is no type of service too small for u to serve in. sometimes we might say tt we are not capable to be a worship leader or have no talent to be a musician. but there are always other areas tt u can serve in. u could be the projectionist or just help carry chairs to set up the seating area (my church is not worshiping at a church building so we have to set up chairs every week) so there is no reason for u not to serve in ur own way. and no service is too small cos u are helping out for the service to be carried out smoothly. if no one carried the chair, where would the congregation seat? and if no one was the projectionist, how is the congregation going to sing the songs tt they need the lyrics for?

actually i was questioning my service as an usher a few weeks ago. i mean as an usher, we just gave out the offering envelopes at the start of service and collected the offering during the offertory phase of the service. i mean sometimes i would get chairs for the late comers but tt was a once in a while thing. tt was abt it and i felt tt it was quite meaningless cos i felt i wasent really doing much. but this qt really let me noe tt i am contributing by being an usher and tt it does have a purpose.

well tts it for my qt. im gonna be meeting amy and maybe esther tmr to finalise the schedule for term 1 next yr so pls pray for wisdom for us. ill going to the apple shop to see wads wrong with my phone's batt life. hopefully they will be able to fix it so pray for tt too. and pls pray tt ill be able to study tmr. k then im gonna try to do some wrk before i turn in. its 2.54am now so im just gonna do 1 or 2 maths questions. haha cyas:)

Hiatus??

hey guys, been 2 days since i blogged but havent really had the mood to so im calling for an indefinite hiatus of my blog. actually its just been tt nothing really interesting has happened and my qts have been really reminders of His greatness which i take to heart but dont really need to be blogged abt. but mainly its just tt i havent really had the mood to do it. so when the mood hits again ill start blogging but i might not blog for the next few days...or i might come back tmr. just stay tuned. aiyahs just follow my blog so u noe when my next post is. ok then tts it from me for now. cyas:)

God is looking

hey guys, so i met with pastor joel today. thank God i managed to find him cos he got my number wrong and couldent msg me tt the office at faith methodist was closed. the marvelous thing was i was waiting for him at faith methodist for quite some time then when i decided to go back to the mrt station for him, he just reached the station. i mean i could have been waiting at the church for a long time but something just made me go back to the station. so after tt i went to north point for lunch and then came back home. the air-con man came to fix my leaking air-con so i get to sleep in my room again. YAY!!! haha after tt i slept all the way until dinner, which i had with the gliderz comm and then went for the meeting. managed to finalise most of the plans for the christmas eve celebration. ive got to get my songs finalised soon but i cant seem to find any fast songs abt love tt my church is familiar with. thought of better than life but my church has not sung it before. so if u got any pls tell me.

ok so my qt today was abt God watching. the main verse was 2 Chronicles 16:9a:
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." well, to noe and rmb tt God sees us can bring us both a sense of conviction and a sense of comfort. to noe tt He sees us will make us want to do things right by Him cos we noe tt nothing passes by Him. and as such we shld not do anything wrong, not out of fear, but out of love cos we noe tt He can see tt we are doing wrong and tt will make Him sad. it also comforts us to noe tt wadever pain we are going through, He can see it and will comfort us. and if anyone wrongs us, we noe tt He has seen it and proper justice will take place.

ok tts my qt. gonna turn in now. its like 3.41am rite now. tmr will just be spent on the com and studying (maybe very little studying so pls pray for me tt ill have the discipline to do it) and ill be going to a chalet tt my fam members on my mom's side are staying at for dinner. oh yea pls pray tt my phone will be fine cos the bat life is suddenly really bad. my phone has gone flat twice today and the bat life now is like 20% left and i just charged it. hopefully its a temporary thing. haha k then im gonna sleep now. cyas:)

Malaysia Trip + 2 qts

hey guys, just came back from Pulai Springs today. really enjoyed myself there. haha so i managed to buy a lot of presents in malaysia and also managed to study just a tiny bit. went to karaoke which was totally fun and went for a body massage at the spa over there which totally relaxed me. but the best thing was tt i managed to get some exercise in. played squash and a little bit of b-ball yesterday morn and went gyming this morn. tts like the first time i exercised in some time. got back home and my air-con started leaking so im gonna have to sleep in the study room for the next few days. oh wells... i actually dont mind it tt much.

ok so ill just be talking a bit abt my qts from yesterday and today. yesterday's was abt how we shld live our lives with love as tt will enable us to touch many lives. and love is something tt i feel is can be the easiest thing to do and the hardest thing to do. i mean how easy is it to love ur family? or someone u like? i mean i find it totally easy to love my friends. but how hard is it to love some irritating person tt constantly annoys u? or someone who hates u to the core? i dont really have someone tt hates me tt much but i do have pple tt make fun of me and dont really like me and i especially have pple tt annoy me. i really try to love them but at times they just get on my nerves and i just wish tt i could get revenge on them or get rid of them. but tts not God wants us to do. He wants us to embrace them and love them like our friends, so tt we can touch them.

and when i was thinking abt love, obviously the thought of tt girl pops into my mind. haha ok the next bit is just my thoughts tt may not really make sense but i just need to express it k? haha ok so the thought of whether i love her came into my mind. and obviously i love her as a friend. but do i love her in tt way? well i came to the conclusion tt i didnt really love her in tt way but it was because of a few reasons. the main one was tt i didnt really noe her tt well. i mean liking a girl and loving a girl is obviously 2 totally different things and i find tt liking a girl is quite easy. i mean u can like a girl for many reasons tt do not really involve truly noeing her like liking her because of her smile or liking her because the both of u can talk. but i have to admit tt i do not really noe her well enough to say tt i love her in tt way. i have been trying to get to noe her better and maybe then i can say tt i love her. if she gives me the chance tt is.

haha ok tt was totally me gushing but well tts wad u came to this blog to read, my thoughts. rite? haha ok back to my qts. i wont be talking much abt it cos i have basically covered the topic before but 2 phrases really struck me. today's qt was abt walking in the light and going through difficulties and 1 of the phrases said " if u shld see a man shut up in a closed room, idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light, and u wished to make him truly happy, u would begin by blowing out all his lamps; and then throwing open the shutters to let in the light of heaven." and tt really shows tt sometimes in order to see the true greatness of God, our lamps have to be blown. the other phrase is "we value the light more fully after we've come through the darkness." and isnt tt so true? when thing are fine we may forget abt Him and take the things tt He has given us for granted. only when we go through a time tt we feel lost tt we are reminded of His greatness.

well tts it from me today. im meeting pastor joel tmr for breakfast at long john silver to discuss on the direction of the sharings for the cf meetings. if u are awake, pls pray for wisdom for us. haha we are meeting at 10am so tt means im gonna have to wake up at 8 tmr. haha and ill having a Gliderz meeting tmr too so pls pray for wisdom for the comm too. haha ok im gonna turn in now. cyas:)

Endure

hey guys, leaving tmr for a relaxing trip to pulai springs, malaysia. hopefully ill enjoy my time there and manage to study a bit. well, today went to study at bugis with jan and managed to do like 20 mcq ques in 3 hrs. haha yea i noe im totally fast rite? hopefully ill be more productive in malaysia. but at least i started on studying. left with arnd one month to my sub paper. getting stressed out even more as the days dwindle.

but my qt really spoke to me today. it was abt how God gives us trials to train us up. when we endure through a difficulty, we are being prepared to serve better in out ministries. we learn many lessons through difficulties, be it patience or toughness. i noe ive talked abt this before so i wont bore u much by reiterating myself but i really thank God tt He is reminding me tt there is a purpose why im going through all this difficulties in my life. like some times i just wonder why im going to sch when i could be helping out in church full time. but i noe tt God wants me to go to sch so tt ill be properly equipped to serve and for me to face difficulties so tt i can be prepared.

well i noe my qts sometimes repeat the topics but i feel tt its God constantly reminding me abt these pts but i noe u guys wouldent want to read the same thing over and over again so when i find tt the topic has been talked abt before, ill just briefly talk abt it and it wont be one of my trademark long posts. haha ok so this post will be relatively short but since i posted yesterday's qt today, u still have quite a bit to read.

haha so i wont be posting for the next 3 days. might take down a few notes and share it when i get back on thurs. cant wait to eat Secret Recipe tmr. been a long time since i ate there. their lamb stew totally rocks!! haha ok then im gonna turn in alr. pray tt ill be studying. haha cyas:)

Service

hey guys started on this post last nite but realised tt it was going to be super long so i decided to continue typing today. so everything will be saying today when in fact its yesterday. k so here's the post:

hey guys, today was quite a remarkable day. i went to comics connection today at sembawang shopping centre today and decided not to buy manga. i mean i usually dont hesitate buying something tt i want when i have the money but i was totally surprised at myself when i walked out of the store cos i realised i wouldent have the time to study if i bought the manga. anyways for some reason, i had thoughts on whether to just give up on even thinking of chasing the girl cos i find tt i might have been quite irritating lately and i wouldent want to risk the friendship. i also find it quite difficult to go after her but after thinking for a while, i decided tt ill just let things take their course and leave it in God's hands.

well today's qt and sermon from pastor lai i felt were both talking abt service. i really feel tt service is one of the joys as a Christian. i find it great joy to serve in CF and in church. though im really not serving much in church since im not really musically inclined. so i really felt tt the youth fellowship tt the church is reformatting to from the cell grp structure was an area tt God is calling me to serve in. and well when i heard tt the young adults are the main grp tt is heading the yf, i felt unsure tt i would be able to serve in the yf and even if i did, i was afraid tt i felt out of place. well today's sermon abt serving was abt Jeremiah and how God called him to serve but he was reluctant cos he felt he was too young. but God told him "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." which showed tt God knows us even better than we noe ourselves. this really stuck me cos He wouldent call us into a particular ministry if we cant do it cos He noes wad we can or cannot do. tt really comforted me tt if He really has called me to the yf ministry, i would be able to do it.

and my qt was abt being an apprentice before a leader. i mean sometimes we would like to be a leader in something but in order to become a leader, we need to learn and to learn, we need to be taken by a leader. i mean sometimes we feel tt we are being called to be a leader but is disappointed when u are not chosen to be one. but maybe it is God training u up to become a leader by first making u an apprentice. so sometimes we have to accept our positions and realise tt God has a plan for it all.

haha tts it for yesterdays thoughts. ill be back ltr for my thoughts on today. haha cyas:)

ARRRGGHHHH!!!!

hey guys, dont noe why but i have felt super pressured these last few days (hence the title). i think it might be because i just realised tt my hols are coming to an end and ive not even started on my wrk and studying. i mean i have to study a yrs worth of wrk in less than 2 months. i noe i get worried and stuff quite easily and tts why i always find myself reminded to trust God. its just tt sometimes the pressure just hits and i just feel like crawling into a fetal position. im also sort of regretting taking up the Digipen course cos its totally draining me and my time. i find tt the past 2 day's qts have really spoken to me and reminded me to approach the Lord with my troubles.

dont wry, this isnt another post abt trust, i noe ive talked alot abt it lately but ive realised tt after he/she/it told me abt he/she/it's trust problems, i also realised tt ive got my own set of trust probs. not really with men but with God. i noe ive talked abt it a lot of times and im quite ashamed tt i keep on forgetting to look to Him whenever im facing probs. i have to always be reminded and im thankful tt He does not give up on me. just see how many posts i have abt trust and u can see how many times God has not given up on me.

well, the main thing tt yesterday's qt asked was have we ever felt like we were drowning in a sea of trials and trouble. and it totally struck me cos i totally feel tt way. with my study probs, lack of time, meetings and plus me not noeing wad to do with the girl i like, i totally feel lost and struggling at times. but the qt also said tt if we ever felt tt way, we shld find friends tt can lift us up and look to Jesus who will provide the foundation to stand on. well this qt reminded me to really be thankful to all u guys. all of u tt i have told my blog to are all my trusted friends (even those who found it on ur own im sure i would have told u if u had asked so dont feel left out:) and i thank God tt He has given me pple tt i can trust and talk to in my time of need and i can be assured tt there are pple praying for me. and i really thank God tt He has kept on reminding me to set my feet upon the foundation tt in Jesus Christ.

today's qt again really reminded me tt i could approach Him with wadever feelings i have. the passage tt was used was Psalm 88 which was a passage abt disappointment. and wouldent u wonder why a passage abt disappointment with God is in the bible? but it really shows tt with wadever feelings we have, be it anger or disappointment, we can always approach God and ask Him for help. He loves us and would help us no matter wad and we can always be assured tt He will take us as we are, with wadever probs we may be facing. this really comforting to read abt.

oh and a really recent incident tt happened was tt while i was typing this blog, big jan (janice) msged me asking how i was, for wadever reason it may be, but i believe it may be God's prompting as i am again reminded of wad wonderful friends i have (i just realised im so sad tt the beloved seniors are leaving:(). if u dont have good Christian friends tt u can share ur trials and troubles with, look for one or 2 cos i think its a really good way to build urself up in the Lord and if u cant find one, im always here:) haha u can be rest assured tt ur secrets will stay secret with me.

yeps so i really believe tt God is again reminding me to look to Him and also to share more with my trusted friends. this few days have been quite rough for me, oh but guess wad, NO MORE COURSE!!! for this yr at least. it continues on for one week in the jan hols. sianz. the next few weeks will be quite rough for me too trying to pack things in such as studying time so pls pray for me. also if u smart pple have the time, pls let me noe if u are free to do some free tutoring. haha thx.

ok tts the end of my super long post today. but just take it as 2 days worth of post and i srsly needed to vent. haha ks guess ill be turning in. helping elvis be usher tmr so cant be late for church tmr. k then...cyas:)

zzzzzzz...Huh?

hey guys, super tired rite now. took a nap and just woke up, still tired. gonna post again tmr. cyas:)

History

hey guys, cant say much abt today again. I NEED A LIFE!!! im totally going out next week. prob is there's no one to go with. haha thinking of playing l4d2 again but pple are busy. sianz. if any of u are free tell me and ill see whether we can all go and play tgt!! haha. well at least ill be going to malaysia on the 8th so at least can enjoy life a bit. oh yea the only significant thing tt happened today was how epicly retarded i can be. today is the first time tt i slept all the way to bukit batok...after reaching jurong east. when i woke up i was like "why is the train moving right instead of left?" haha ok lets not talk abt how retarded i am anymore and talk abt my qt.

haha ok so today i will be talking abt poh's fav sub. and no jialei, it is not an easy sub to take (although i dont take it, i noe tt its crazy tough). since i dont take the sub im not gonna talk abt academic history im talking abt how pple always use the phrase "those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." and well isnt the bible a record of history? haha so now all my talk abt history makes sense rite? yea so the bible is a source of teachings and lessons and most of them come from accounts of other pple's lives in the past. sometimes we may just think of them as stories, especially those tt we have heard since young like David and Goliath or Jonah and the big fish. sometimes we forget tt these things really happened and tt we can learn lessons from them. so lets not just label those stories as just tt, stories, but treat it as lessons tt God wants us to learn from. and on a more personal note abt history,

like i have always said: there are no coincidences, everything happens for a reason, His reason. wadever the reason may be, we can always learn from wad has happened before. all those mistakes tt we have made and all the bad things tt we have experienced, we can learn from them. i find tt most of us (including me in the past) just treat things tt happen to us as just passings in life, tt they dont mean anything. when we get hurt by other pple we just get angry, not thinking tt there may be a purpose for it. ive said many times before tt cf has really changed me and i think tt this is one of the ways. since ive joined cf (and started this blog) ive begun to see how little things tt happen in our lives can work out to teach me something or can impact the lives of others. of course there are many times tt i dont get wad good can come out of something but God always has a plan for something to happen. so we shld learn from our own history, maybe tts why God has allowed something to happen to us, to learn from it. and if we dont look back and learn from it, wouldent it be such a waste?

again thinking abt yesterday and the whole trust thing, maybe tts why God has allowed pple to betray u (i would just like to emphasise tt God does not cause bad things to happen to us, but He may sometimes allow the evil one to do bad things to us, but im sure u knew tt). there might be something tt u can learn from it. personally when i was betrayed and feel like i cant trust pple anymore, when i look back i started to trust those tt i have trusted even more, and also began to trust pple tt i would trust with my life rite now. tts wad good has come out from being betrayed and when i look back at my personal history, maybe tts why i was betrayed and now i can testify abt it which may also be the purpose of it all happening.

yeps so tts all my thoughts rite now. got a small test tmr so pls pray for me. hopefully i dont fall asleep. haha love life still non-existent. decided to just take it slow and continue to be friends...for now. haha i mean time is wad we have rite? anyways i dont think she shares the same feelings so good thing i didnt confess or anything. haha anyways its not like im hurting or anything so all's fine in the world of Joel:) k then gonna turn in and hopefully ill do well tmr. haha cyas:)

Hypocrisy + Trust

hey guys, yet again today has been a boring day. parents went to watch Mulan today which i totally dont get why they call it a historical movie when there wasent a dragon in the movie. i mean in reality Mulan had a dragon called mushu rite? so why was he not in the latest movie? its so unfair to dragons arnd the world. haha ok enough of my nonsense. since there is not much to update in my life, lets get started on my qt.

ok so my qt is abt hypocrisy. since i think this might be a sensitive topic, pls excuse me if i offend u or anything. ok so hypocrisy is a very real thing in our lives. we might not think tt we are doing it but more often than not we are. i mean how often do we blame someone for doing something wrong when we have done something similar at some point in time. im sure u all noe abt the verse abt taking out the plank in ur eye before looking at the sand in someone else's eye so im not gonna quote it here but isnt it really true tt we are hypocrites more often than not? i have to admit tt many times when i see pple doing wrong things, i judge them. i noe its wrong but im human. but how many times have we thought of doing something tt may not be right? and doesent the bible say tt thinking is as good as doing it? so how can i judge others when i myself have sinned. we may say tt other pple are breaking the rules even more than we do, but isnt breaking the rules a bit still breaking them? so i have decided to stop being a hypocrite. i'm sure i wont be able to do it through my own strength but with the help of God and those arnd me, i will be able to do. i hope u will join me too.

well tts my qt but another thing i want to talk abt is trust. i noe ive talked abt trust recently but tt was more abt trusting God. im now talking abt trusting men. ive talked abt it briefly on nov 4, in the post titled "Present" (i mentioned u there poh so dont jealous) so u can read tt before u read this if u cant rmb tt post. a friend told me today how he/she/it feels tt it is difficult for he/she/it to trust pple. maybe cos he/she/it was betrayed or something else but i didnt pry. well i would just like to say tt men will always fail u, just for the fact tt we are human. so then who can we trust? personally i too had the feeling of not being able to trust pple a few times. i mean u noe tt i was super introverted before and to be betrayed is like devastating. but i noe tt there are pple tt can be trusted. i just have to look for them.

i may trust the wrong pple sometimes but i find tt it is just a learning lesson. i may trust the right pple but as they are human, they may betray me accidentally, but tts just cos they are human and i forgive them. and there are those pple tt God has sent to be the ones tt will always stand by me, and i thank God for them. so i think tt its only a matter of time before u find the pple tt u can always trust. and even if u dont meet them yet, thank God for the right pple, for they love u still and they nv mean to harm u. and even thank God for the wrong pple, for without them u will nv learn the difference between the right and wrong pple (ok this might not make sense to u but i think it does. haha). so to me i just trust. in men and more importantly, God. i trust tt He will lead me to the right pple and i trust tt whoever i trust, something good may come out of it.

so i hope this encourages all of u and more importantly, he/she/it, to trust. i noe it can be hard at times but trust God to bring u through it cos although men will fail, God will nv. He is the one person tt u can always be assured u can trust.

well tts it from me today. gonna turn in alr at 2.09am. another boring day ahead of me. pray for me yet again tt ill be able to stay awake. come online between 10-12 and 1-4 to keep me company/awake. haha he will be revising before the test on fri so ive gotta stay awake. oh yea, thank God, the hockey team won their friendly match. yea it may be a friendly match but still... haha ok guys gotta go nowz. cyas:)

More of My Thoughts

hey guys, well i think i might be sharing more today instead of my usual format of stuff. haha so well today was quite boring, dont noe why super tired when u woke up and couldent even stay awake when i was standing on the train. thankfully i got a seat so i slept all the way to jurong east. so went to sch and slept again before class started and slept once again when i went home on the train, sleeping all the way to yishun before realising i overshot (by one stop so it isnt tt bad). so tt was my day, sleepy and boring.

well so tts today but my life is still quite interesting. i noe some of u are like super interested abt tt girl for some reason and asking me to tell her how i feel but i dont want to risk the friendship tt we have. i have told some of u and even her tt i treasure friendships more than relationships so i would rather be friends with her forever than to risk it all for a relationship tt im not even sure will work out. cos like poh has told me and i also believe to a certain extent, relationships made in jc tend not to last. and well i think friendships do so i would rather be hurting not telling her. haha and well to tell u guys the truth, i have not really known her for tt long a time so i might not be even sure it will work out. anyways i think she reads my blog so she might be thinking its her but ill deny everything anyways. haha u might think u noe who it is but yet again, ill deny everything. so i really dont noe wad to do. ill just have to wait and see. if God really has prepared her for me, well we will end up together sooner or later. maybe ill tell her when i think its the right time.

haha yea so ive basically spilled my guts out on my current thoughts on the girl right now. this is really personal so be honoured tt i trust u guys so much. haha nothing much else interesting going on with my life right now. well tmr is gonna be another boring day. pls pray for me to be able to stay awake tmr and tt ill be able to absorb cos ive got a test on fri. oh and pray for jo-ann and the girls ac hockey team tmr cos they are having a match at sengkang i think. haha k tts it from me tonight. cyas:)

Time + Being Ready

hey guys, couldent post yesterday cos i went for a farmstay. tried prawning over there but caught nothing:( was a new experience though. had a complimentary foot bath at the spa too which was great. actually was going to miss the first half of today's course but thank God my teacher msged me to tell me tt today's lesson was cancelled cos the instructor had something on. so my fam and i had a great time in the morn before coming back. but there is lesson tmr so ive gotta go sleep soon. haha.

so my qts for today and yesterday i found are quite complementary. ill talk abt yesterday's first. yesterday's was abt time and how we shld number our days and live life wisely. we only have so many days on earth. it really struck me as i realise i have been using my time on the com alot watching all my shows and not really studying or doing the things tt matter such as the planning for the Christmas eve thing going on or the term 1 schedule for cf. i find tt i have been procrastinating a lot and this qt really got me to think. to be honest, it also got me to think abt whether i want to tell this girl i like tt i like her since like we have to use our time fully and i still dont noe the answer to tt but tts for another post (if i ever decide to blog abt it). haha. i think tt can be procrastinated. but more impt things such as studying i realised, i shld really get started on if not for my results then to present a good testimony of myself.

well today's qt totally got me thinking abt yesterday's qt too cos today's was abt being ready to meet God. well to be honest, i feel tt i really want to meet God like right now cos as most of u noe, i have to qualms abt dying and going to heaven right now. i noe some of u might not be and well, i would like to encourage u to set urself right and be ready cos we do not noe when we will be taken from this earth or when Christ will come back. so like yesterday's qt said, use our time wisely. but i feel tt being ready not only applies to ourselves personally. i feel tt it also means to get others ready, by evangelising to non-believers or even to backsliders. i find tt we shld also get ready by evangelising cos as ive said earlier, we are not sure when they will be taken or when Christ will come back. so we shld not hesitate saving them. come to think of it, maybe tt may be one of the things tt i might not be ready to face God abt. i dont think ive evangelised to the best tt i can and like ive stated in earlier posts, maybe tts the reason tt we are on this earth, to touch the life of tt one person. so lets not hesitate readying other pple too to meet God.

so basically we shld use our time wisely to ready ourselves and other pple. at least tts wad ive come out with reflecting on today's qt with basis from yesterday's. ok well tts it from me for today. if u ask me bout the girl i will deny everything:). haha wadever is said in this blog stays in this blog...or btw u and me depending on my mood (and as u noe ive got mood swings. haha:) so guess im gonna turn in now. byezzzz. cyas:)