Merry X...no Christmas!!!!

hey guys!!! Merry (belated) Christmas and a Happy (early) New Year!!! YAY!!!! hopefully i can make this post a long one but if not ill try to post a long one soon. ok so with Christmas just passing, i have received many Christmas greetings and stuff through sms. and quite a few with "Merry Xmas!!!" which got me thinking... why would u discredit the One who gave us Christmas? ok im sure most of us have heard sermons on the importance of Christ in Christmas and the disappearance of Christ in Christmas today and it could get repetitive but when u really think abt it, its really true.

with Xmas being a common term tt even Christians use it, it really is sad. there can be no Christmas without Christ. so Xmas really has no meaning. thankfully, ive noticed a strong Christian msg especially in this year's ccis (celebrate Christmas in Singapore). ive been to orchard most of the days of ccis and ive noticed tt when the floats go by, there are no Santa Clauses but instead most of them are based on the nativity story. and there is a whole nativity story theme throughout orchard. for tt i really thank God for helping all the Christian organisations and churches make this year's CCIS such a success. many pple now noe wad the nativity story is and have now heard abt the birth of our Saviour. most of u may think tt this is such a small thing but the importance of this whole event is to plant the small seed into the pple's hearts. and i noe tt this event has accomplished this thanks to the Lord's providence.

ok im a bit sleepy so i cant think of proper words and stuff to express how i feel so this might be a bit disjointed and stuff. well qt for today was on Psalm 121 being tt God nv sleeps and tt He is always available to help. as its like 4:40 am now, it cant be any truer. ive realised tt during this period, ive been thinking abt getting a gf and ive really given this whole thing to God but i have been frustrated tt its taking so long. God has brought me back to Him and reminded me to be patient but once in a while, i would be wondering why its taking so long. since i got over subway girl fully early this year, ive realised tt although im still attracted to some girls, i noe tt i do not like them. and for me to really like a girl, ive set quite high expectations and to date only one girl has met them. ive sort of 1 primary requirement, 2 secondary, one bonus, and sort of one tts redundant. the redundant one is of course tt we have to hit it off and have a certain connection... i mean if tt is not even met, how can i like her rite?

the other requirements are sort of requirements not really to like but for me to like so much tt im willing to get into a relationship with tt person. and for me, im dating to marry so im srs when i get into a relationship. well the primary requirement is for her to be spiritually matured. the first secondary requirement is for her to like at least one thing i do like but it'll be a bonus (not the bonus requirement) for her to like everything i do. the 2nd would be looks (which in this case is not beauty but it would be the fact tt i can stand to look at her). and the bonus as with every person in the world would be looks in the beauty sense. since early this yr, ive realised tt only one girl meets all the requirements, even the bonus and its.............not my mom (im not tt cliche, my mom's the WOMAN who meets everything since she's the best!!! awwww....). but yea obviously im not gonna tell who it is:P. but the prob is tt she's attached rite now. so i guess she's not the one for me.

so ive just got to keep waiting and praying. well to link back to my qt, ive realised how much i need God during this time. with Project Serve starting and NS nearing, ive gotta rmb tt God is always there looking out for me and caring for me and tt i can always look to Him for help. so yea ive been reminded to continue to look to Him for help with my gf prob and to just trust Him to settle it. well this is long enough. gotta wake up early tmr!!! cya guys:)

Shorter Check-In

hey guys, really short check-in this time. cant believe im busier after As than before. anws if u guys see this, pls go down to the "celebrate Christmas in Singapore" (CCIS) booths in front of wisma and truly see the movement of Christians over this Christmas. the experience helping out on fri and sat night have been enjoyable. pls come for the CF Christmas party too if u can!!! ill be in malaysia tmr and coming back the day after just to let u guys noe. haha k ill try to post a long post next. cya:)

Short Check-In

hey guys, its super late alr and i gotta sleep. anws just checking in to say tt im making an effort to post regularly and almost daily but not for the next few days cos im not gonna be home tmr due to Decemberists (YAY!!!) and my church movie thingy on thurs will end really late and im not going home on fri cos im staying at Orchard Hotel after prom. so there may not be any updates for the next few days. doesnt mean tt the blog's dead again. anws im gonna sleep alr. have to meet someone from project serve at 9am tmr at Aljunied so gotta wake up early. cyas:)

WHOOTS!!!!

hey guys, long time since i posted and since As are over (YAY!!!!), i can finally start posting regularly. i was thinking of doing a vlog kind of thingy but tts still in the wrks (with first purchasing a nice video cam - still yet to do) so stay tuned for my first vlog (hopefully before i get conscripted). anws have been going out almost everyday so havent had the time to put my thoughts into "My Thoughts" (get it?) so finally found the time to do it today.

well after purchasing lots (and i mean lots) of stuff, i accidentally maxed out my card. thankfully its with all permitted purchases so i didnt get into trouble. the threadless order of US$359 pushed it over the edge so had to use my sis's card instead. so yea life after As have been interesting with prom shopping and Christmas shopping and catching up with seniors and friends. like after catching up with my friends i realise how much i treasure one on one talks. yea going out in groups is fun and all but u cant really talk about personal stuff in grps and talking personally to someone is really different and so much better than going out in grps. so just by thinking abt this, i started thinking abt how to ask someone out without asking someone out. this issue of course has to do with my friends who are girls. of course i can ask any guy out to talk without it being awkward (since everyone noes im totally straight...i hope). as most of u noe, most of my friends are girls so the problem comes when just a thought comes into mind when i just wanna meet up with one of my girl friends to talk..."wad if she thinks im asking her out?". of course i AM asking her out but u noe wad type of asking out im talking abt here.

of course most of my closer girl friends wouldnt think twice abt my request and just treat it as just a normal talking session and tts why i dont hesitate in asking them "out". but its those tt im not tt close to tt makes me think twice in asking them "out". since the point of me asking friends out is to get to noe them and the friends tt are not so close being those tt i want to get to noe, u would think tt they are the main ones tt i wanna ask "out" rite? so yea tt apparently is the dilemma here. and btw by not tt close friends i do not mean friends i rarely talk to but wad i mean is those friends who i am good friends with but are not close to the extent tt i can ask them "out" without them thinking twice... sort of like tier 2 in my old tier system. the friends tt i only noe superficially. so yea to sum up this whole dilemma, the ques is "how do i ask someone out without asking her out?" btw its a rhetorical ques cos its just a thought and im not really looking for an answer.

anws this dilemma is no big deal since i havent finished going out with my close friends yet and ive got so many things to enjoy and do. project serve starts next yr and cant wait!!! oh yea i just registered for my basic theory test for a test on 1st Feb next yr. im taking it super slowly and not really rushing it since ive got 2 yrs to finish getting my license. anws tts it from me today. going Tecman tmr to finish Christmas shopping!! cyas:)

Friends Pt.2

hey guys, dont noe why but being in A lvl mode has got me thinking abt lots of stuff lately. not having usual sch has really now forced me to look back at friends i have made through this 2 yrs.

as u guys noe, i used to have this rating/tier system of friends but i realised lately tt i dont really use tt system anymore. its now more like a come wadever kind of thing. i think i have recently taken a more "wide" view of friends in a sense tt im now looking at it in the Christian perspective. well im not really sure if i can call it a Christian perspective but its more like a perspective tt involves God. my whole perspective basically puts everything in God's plan. with anyone we meet, God has a plan for it. so basically my view is tt if someone has been put in my life, aka an acquaintance, there must be a reason for it. be it a simple thing like me showing the person how a Christian is or to something more far reaching like maybe i will help this person out of a tight spot sometime in the future. so after taking on this perspective, it has put my friends all in a new light. as i now believe tt there is a reason why i noe someone, i put most of wad most pple consider as mere acquaintances under the category of friends (my definition of a friend is someone i would go out of my way to help...it doesnt really take into account how deep i noe the person, tt comes under the classical theory of the degrees of friendship).

so now the new "quantum" theory (phys students will get the joke) is tt there are only 3 degrees of friendship to me now. its the acquaintance, friend and good friend lvls (which is actually just the classic lvls tt most pple have...im complicated, dont judge). however, my lvls are unique in a sense tt i have pple tt are usually not considered in certain lvls to be in those lvls (if tt makes any sense). like i said before, most pple tt i noe i consider friends, which is alr a major difference to the norm. so who's in the acquaintance lvl u may ask. well actually tt lvl is a temp lvl i feel tt is for pple tt are not even hi, bye friends. like we noe of each other but have not really officially met tt we dont even say hi. most pple would not even categorise them but i feel tt they shld still be categorised under this temp lvl cos as i said before, i have met them for a reason. so it is sooner or ltr tt i have an impact in their lives. or maybe i have had an impact and not even noe abt it. tts the awesomeness of God's plans.

so now with this new 3 lvls i look upon my friends with a whole new light. basically my goal is to make an impact on each an every one of my friends and to allow God to use me as His tool to help another person. an image tt i picture is like everyone in the world is an angel sent from God ready to be used. even non-believers can be used by God as an angel. so i believe tt as angels, we must be prepared to be used by Him.

i noe many pple have the theory tt only close friends are worth the time and effort to stay close to and to stay in contact with after their time with them ends and tt all the others tt are not as close can just disappear into the abyss of memories for all they care. to a certain extent i have to agree with tt but i have my own view of it. so again back to my belief, as i have a role to play in everyone tt i noe's life, if my job in tt person's life is not done, no matter wad God wouldnt let me leave the person's life. it could be just meeting each other by "coincidence" (which im not really a believer of) or it could be tt i might work with the person in the future. the bottom line is tt if God has a role for me in tt person's life, i would still be in tt person's life. so it doesnt really matter if i try hard or not to stay in the person's life. but contrary to popular belief, i believe tt this also applies to close friends. if ur role in someone's life, no matter how big, is over, there is no need to be sad over the drifting apart. its just tt there is no need for each other anymore and there are new angels tt will enter ur life. on the bright side u'll be able to reconnect back in heaven after the rapture.

i noe this is like quite a radical view but i believe it to be true and tts why i dont really mind if my friends and i drift apart. im may actually be a bit glad tt i have fulfilled the purpose tt God has assigned to me and tt my friend is along his/her way on the road of life noeing tt ive impacted him/her. i noe tt there may be some life long friends tt God may be blessing me with though and im sure they will always be by my side whenever i will need them. btw im not saying tt i wont try to keep in contact with my friends but i believe tt even though u try but theres just this invisible thing tt causes u to drift apart tt it may be just tt ur role has been fulfilled. and im not saying tt u'll nv see each other again, im just saying tt when the friendship aint the same anymore, maybe its tt ur role as tt kind of friend may have ended.

well i noe my belief might seem really weird to some but i find tt it is a really logical perspective and tt it actually helps me not get sad due to friendship probs. well tts it from me on this topic for now i think. let me noe if ive impacted ur life ks? i just wanna noe if im doing God's purpose for me. hope i made my perspective as understandable as possible. thanks and cyas:)

School

hey guys, just thought of posting up something. well there's lots of stuff going on in my mind and it may not be the right time to say some things but ill see wad comes out from my brain rite now...

well like the title says most of wads on my mind has its roots in sch. from friends to studies to sch ending and all other stuff in between... i gotta say tt this 2 yrs of my life was the most interesting period in my life. im really gonna miss AC lots. cant believe how many friends i have made over here. ive gotta say tt the friends were the ones tt got me through the tough times and if it wasnt for God sending me here, i'd still be lost in my faith... right now looking back, i wouldnt be so strict in my life listening to God's Word if i didnt come to AC. i really cant believe how much God has changed me in these 2 yrs.

it didnt start out tt good i assure u of tt. with 4 yrs in a boys sch undergoing puberty, im sure u can understand how i felt when i came to AC. i can assure u tt i wasnt a deprived boy or anything since i came from a mixed sch in pri sch but this was just different. looking back i regretted making a few girls feel super awkward by liking them and for tt i sincerely apologise but i couldnt help it... even though things with my class started out great, it suddenly took a turn for the worse and i didnt even noe how i became sort of an outcast in my class. but really as i look back (sry im super nostalgic rite now), i can see tt when i joined CF, my life started to change for the better. i met all my awesome friends who i love lots and i'd nv have met God in the way tt i have if i didnt join CF. seeing my journey in AC has indeed allowed me to see how God has worked in my life, through my now famous story of how my 12 pts brought me to AC and the other less known stories. one such story was how i was thinking of following my sister's footsteps to join council. i was alr in CF then and was thinking whether or not to join CF comm or council and during tt time i can say tt i wasnt really as close to God as i am now. so i made the choice tt i would join CF comm only if i was rejected by council, disguising it by saying tt God will show me wad He wants for me for getting me rejected from council, thinking tt i would be certain to join council.

and guess wad? i got rejected. surprisingly by the end of council interviews, i felt a tugging tt i know now to be God tt it was alright to be rejected by council. He reminded me how He led me into AC and to let Him show me the way again. and so when i found out tt i didnt get into council, i knew tt it was by His will and i gladly accepted it. He then helped me get into CF comm and from there, i became the person i am today. wow... im suddenly getting really nostalgic (i thought i couldnt get more nostalgic then i was).

well one reason out of the multitude of reasons for me missing sch is well, CF. i miss tt i wont be able to serve God in tt area again and i noe everyone is telling me tt there is a season for everything but like ill miss working for God in such an awesome sch like AC. but well ive come to terms with tt so no point in emoing over leaving CF again.

ive really met such awesome pple in AC. i would really like to list down each and everyone of u but i'd confirm miss a few of u guys so just to avoid hurt feelings ill just thank all u guys for being the friends tt u have been. listen to the lyrics to the song tt i have on rite now (if ive changed it, its "For Good" from Wicked The Musical), its for u guys (btw i knew this song before the baccalaureate so i didnt jew it). i know tt i have been changed for the better because i knew u guys. awww....

well tts the end for this post i guess. might update again if some new story of my life in AC comes to mind. just an update on life rite now would be just me studying so nothing much to update on. seems like the past is more interesting rite? I WANNA TRAVEL BACK IN TIME!!! well time to get off this now. will be leaving this vid for u guys. i posted it up on my fb wall and well not many pple noticed it i think so guess im posting it up here. its an awesome 12 min vid so i suggest u just click on the vid to watch a nicer screen version of it on youtube since my blog always cuts off half the player. wanted u guys to watch it before baccalaureate but well its nv too late to leave nothing unsaid. cya guys real soon:)

Why Apple Sucks!!

pls sync finish... pls!!! i need to sleep!!! [80% synced] crap someone's calling me!!! [sync cancelled] NO!!!!!!

this is for all u iphone/touch owners who hate the long syncs especially after restoring or getting a new phone. And blogs alive again!!!

Day 2 Of Shingles

hey guys, if anyone's still reading this blog...(which i think amounts to 4-5 pple, pls let me noe if u still read so tt i can decide the fate of this blog) well this is the 2nd day of my confirmed case of shingles. its technically like day 4 or 5? the virus attacks my nerves so officially the day i started to have weird feelings on my stomach and back was like on tues. then the spots came out i think 3 days ago. but i officially got diagnosed yesterday which u guys would noe from my prayer request.

so im not in much of a mood to study now and ive been stoning in front of the com the whole day. so i decided to stop by and give whoever's still reading an update. im sry if ive not been much talkative lately on my msgs, only sending out mass msgs and not replying but its cos it hurts anytime i move and reaching for my phone hurts (i noe it sounds lazy but trust me it hurts). so i cant really be bothered to get my phone to reply. and my brain's not working tt spontaneously as usual so again not really a good talker rite now. but apparently im typing fine...

so officially rite now i cant go to sch but im going to go to see the doc on mon for another check up and replenishment of my drugs and maybe get a letter to certify tt i can take prelims (not tt i really want to, its the parents decision not mine). dont be jealous guys cos i would rather take prelims than go through this pain and discomfort. well all i noe is the pain's gonna get worse and my discomfort's gonna too so just keep me in ur prayers guys. and on the bright side i can relax and play com for the next few days:)

really thank God for such good friends as u and i cant wait for this saga to end. im gonna need ur guys support through this. ks tts the end of this post. will update this daily until i get back to sch at least. cyas:)

ALIVE BLOG!!!

ITS ALLLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
MY BLOG IS ALIVE!!!!!!

Joy?

hey guys, just popped by to say tt my qt really spoke to me. it was abt having joy during sad times. it was meant to be for those grieving but its also applicable to me i think. during sad times and sad occasions. we as Christians can always be comforted tt God has a plan and he noes wads best for us.i noe this and i thank God for reminding me this.

but im still hurting. although i trust tt God has a plan for all this, i just wish He would tell me wad it is. well i guess i just have to wait. im still having just in the midst of this sad time. but im still being sad at the same time. its just a sucky time so just pray for me.

Wrecked

hey guys, its been some time since my last post. dont really have an excuse other than not having the time or mood. lately ive been such a wreck. actually started only yesterday. dont noe why but for some reason during my timed assignment, i started thinking of subway girl. and like i dont noe why but now ive been thinking of wad went wrong and how i let her down and how i didnt treat her the way i should have tt chased her away.

like i said before it wasnt the breaking up but the way we broke up tt has bothered me till today. i noe its been like 2 yrs and i still dont get how she can hate me till today. i really want to bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones but i just have nv been able to contact her cos she nv replies my emails in the past. im not sure whether i shld send her another email but i really cant be bothered if shes gonna dao again. its like im not even intending to get back tgt or anything. its just tt i feel really guilty and just want to patch things up with her. well theres no way to do tt.

well i dont noe why im suddenly thinking of her but i really want to stop. i really thought i was over with this since its been like 2 yrs but it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. now whenever ive got nothing to do or when im doing wrk (which is the same as doing nothing) she just pops up in my mind. and i go on emoing on wad i shld not have done and wad i shld have done. i really think tt the only way for me to get rid of this feeling is to find another girl. i just dont noe wads going on with me!!!

Friends

hey guys, been really busy with rew so havent really updated. not tt there is anyone still reading my blog. well ive really been thinking abt friends recently and im really puzzled by how close i am with friends cos im like getting mixed signals from friends tt i thought i was really close to? well i have sort of always catagorized my different tiers of friends into arnd 5 tiers.

Fifth Tier: The hi and bye friends tt u see arnd sch and have only talked to them arnd once or twice. those u can talk to if u sit down with tt person but nv got the opportunity to talk so cant say tt we are close or anything. more than an acquaintance, less than a friend

Fourth Tier: Just friends tt i can talk to but not really often. pple tt i usually dont hang with but when u get us tgt i can talk for hrs. its just lower than the third tier just because of the lack of opportunities to talk

Third Tier: heres the start of the better friends. this is the group of friends who i will talk to and we usually have opportunities to talk but we just have fun chatting but we dont really have the closeness tt ill feel comfortable telling u who i like or wads serious probs im going through in my life

Second Tier: these friends are the second best friends tt i have. they are the pple tt i totally trust and can really talk to them. however, there is just something missing tt keeps us from having tt really comfortable closeness tt i can say anything and do anything and it wont be misinterpreted. so there is still a certain level of discretion needed for these friends but are still close nonetheless.

First Tier: this is where all the pple tt i treat as friends tt i can talk to when im troubled and friends tt i noe i can always trust fall. the closeness is usually telling when u can hug or lean against each other without being awkward and there are only a few pple tt i have this closeness to. these friends are those tt i treasure the most (not tt i dont treasure the other tiers) and are the ones tt im usually see hanging out with. they are the group of pple tt i can have no discretion in wad i say or wad i do cos i noe it wont be misinterpreted.

the actual prob with my friends is usually between the top 3 tiers. pple tt i thought to be in the second tier can sometime seem to be in the third tier. or even first tier pple seem like second tier. its just really confusing and i sometimes dont noe how to act with them cos wad if they treat me as a third tier friend while im treating them as a second tier one. my tiers are usually depicted by the tier i am in with other pple cos im the type of person tt will treat others how they usually treat me. so its weird sometimes when a person treats me like a second tier friend all the while and suddenly treats me like a third tier one. its ust really really confusing. ill let u guess which tier u guys are in.

well tts it for my mini rant. gonna sleep now. got tuition at 7.30am tmr. cyas:)

Awesome Skit

hey guys, need to sleep so ill leave u this awesome skit. im sure most of u have seen it before but its great to watch it again. it was performed by the j3s last yr for rew and was shown again this yr during the speaker's msg so heres tt awesome lifehouse skit. btw if anyone noes how to make sure the vids dont get cropped pls let me noe. haha thx:) cyas:)

REW!!!! DOUBLE WHOOOOOTTTTTSSSS!!!!

hey guys, gonna sleep alr cos i need to be in sch by 6.20 tmr for rew prep. well today church was great seeing 3 friends getting baptised. its really awesome to see fellow Christians profess their faith through baptism. well tts it from me today cos ill need the rest for tmr though ill leave u with this awesome vid. sry if its cut off though. cyas:)

REW!!!! WHOOOTTS!!!!

hey guys, been really busy with sch and funorama and rew and such so havent really had the time to update. well it has been a fun and interesting journey through funorama and all the way till now. really had fun shopping and chatting with friends and seeing all the seniors again. really really having a great time in sch now even with all the work piling in. well tts wads so great bout ac aint it? we mug but we have a great time doing it. unlike those mugger schs like nj (not to say tt nj aint great, just tt ac's better...obviously) and anws its really great to have such wonderful friends to travel this journey with, especially in the comm cos as u noe rew is just 2 days away and u can see a few of the comm members running arnd like headless chickens stressed over the prep. wad can i say, we are just as last minute as every comm before us (according to ms mai at least), keeping the tradition alive.

well really had fun with mf and nigel yesterday playing l4d2!!! i finally found a use for the defibrillators cos during the last level of the dead centre campaign, i accidentally jumped off the third floor of the mall to my death so thankfully there was a defibrillator near where mf was so i asked her to revive me. so the defibrillators arent so useless after all. yesterday had so many great memories from tt first use of the defib unit to our whole team being destroyed by just one charger. see on one of the levels, think its parish, u have to activate this moving platform and defend against a horde. we were doing so well before then but as all of us got to the 2nd floor to defend better against the horde, a charger threw both nigel and i off the 2nd floor, killing me(guess i suck at heights?) and causing lots of damage to nigel. so just cos of tt 1 charger we had to restart tt chapter.

so finally got my phone exchanged so i can finally surf wi-fi with my phone again. YAYS!!! well God has really blessed me lately and i really cant ask for more. lately its just been smooth sailing and even though there has been some bumps along the road (keeping with the journey metaphor), its still has been great. the only thing tt really has bugged me is when i hear the pple arnd me going through tough times cos i really get worried for them. there have also been many pple falling sick (partially due to the awesomeness of funorama) which has made me even more worried but God has reminded me abt the power of prayer lately (thx nigel:) and so ive been trying to pray more. i dont really have many prayer items for myself rite now but pls pray for all those arnd u, esp those going through tough times, tt God may deliver them, heal them and bless them. continue to also pray for rew tt there may be open hearts and tt they will be touched.

i dont deny tt there will always be a vibe of apathy arnd the sch since Christianity is not "cool" but ill just trust God to touch the sch and to bring whoever He has in mind to us. if there is even one person who has been touched, even if he doesnt accept Christ, im satisfied. if we can plant the seed in even one person, then all our hard work is well worth it (although im not sure whether jas or jiap might be able to say the same thing seeing how much they have put in). well just continue to keep rew in prayers. cyas:)

Vids To Pass The Time

hey guys, with rew, funorama, hmwrk and all the stuff going on, i really dont have the time to type out long blog posts so just to update u guys, today had a really really really really looooooonnnnnggggg meeting. finished at 6+ and got back home close to 8. really tired but need to finish hmwrk so gonna stay up to finish. well tts basically wad happened today. well before i leave here's some vids for u. the first is the full trailer to the film tt we will be showing for rew and the other one is one of the best music vids ever!!!





cyas:)

Emo-ness Pt 2

hey guys, after talking to stef awhile i realised why im really emo rite now. i get really affected by the pple arnd me so like when i noe of pple tt are emoing i get emo too? tts why i decided to swear off fb rite now cos everyone's posting emo comments. well the main reason why emo pple make me emo is cos i really feel helpless in helping them. i mean i do wad i can but i always feel as though i can do more, u get wad i mean? but i dont noe wads the more tt i can do. which sucks. well so now my prayer request is not for me but for all the emo pple tt u noe. pray for all those pple emoing rite now cos tts wad will make me stop emoing. anws im repeated listening to Better Than Life by Hillsong now to ease the emoness. well k i need to finish up my gp essay now. cyas:)

Emo-ness

hey guys, dont noe why but today im feeling really emo. dont think its my results cos ive really entrusted everything to God and i dont really care abt going for ssp. just really feel this heavy burden and i dont noe wads its caused by. im like feeling so emo tt im listening to Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C. noe tt song? tts how emo i am. im not sure whether its meant to be an emo song but its always emo to me cos its like when u leave ur friends then u sing this song. AAARRRRGGGHHH!!! dont noe why im feeling this way. i think im being affected by all the emo pple arnd me. pls pray for me. btw if u are interested in my results, 17/50 for maths and 38.5/60 for chem. really proud of chem. im quite sure im failing phys tmr so im gonna be in ssp. well dont mind if it doesnt affect my CF duties so im fine with it. k then im gonna go back to my emo-ness. hopefully ill feel better tmr. cyas:)

21/03/10

hey guys since i typed so much yesterday, im gonna take a break today cos i just realised i gotta go sleep now. cyas tmrs. SCH REOPENS!!! HELLLOOOOO FRIENDS!!! cyas:)

WHY RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!!!

hey guys, first non-date title in like quite some time. couldnt think of titles in the past so decided to name them after the dates but today's topic totally rocks so i decided to name it just tt. well this will be one of my infamous (if u can consider it tt) ranting posts so sit back and prepare to read ALL my thoughts. some of you (mainly 1 person *cough*poh*cough*) said tt my posts are so short so heres a long one for u.

well judith asked me bout subway girl today and it really got me thinking of how relationships suck. i mean u guys noe wad kind of relationships i mean. i think most of u tt have been in a relationship will agree with me and those of u tt are in a relationship rite now would violently disagree. and there are those very blessed pple who have nv been in a relationship before. actually, im not really talking abt relationships as a whole. of course the times when u are tgt are totally awesome. if they suck why even be in tt relationship rite? the crux of the issue is the start (wooing?) and the end (the BREAK-UP!!!)

the start of most relationships start with one party liking another party of the opposite gender (im not even going to mention abt the scenario with the same gender...whoops just mentioned it) and this can obviously turn into several scenarios (wow this is like totally turning into an analysis of relationships). theres the wonderful scenario where the other party turns out to like the first person and they live happily ever after. then the sort of troublesome scenario where the guy/girl has to woo the other person for some time and tt other person suddenly finds out tt she/he likes him/her. (ok for simplicities sake im going to start referring to the first person as a guy and the other person as (obviously) a girl). and after she likes him they live happily ever after. as a guy personally, tt scenario isnt too bad. i dont mind chasing a girl and going out of my way to do things for her (since i alr go out of my way to do things for everyone (not bragging just stating a fact)) so if i get the girl in the end im totally fine with it.

the worse case is when the girl after u chase her still doesnt like u. i mean u cant blame someone for not liking u. it might just mean tt tts not the one tt God has planned for u. im totally fine with tt. its just tt its frustrating. im sure most of u noe how it feels and like u feel (i feel anws) tt u are not loved. tt feeling is really horrible and its just totally crappy. obviously u are loved but during tt period of rejection u feel as though u are not able to be loved cos tt person doesnt like u. and tts why relationships suck. the process of getting into a relationship most of the time is guess work and anticipation and hoping only to be disappointed in the end.

then the middle of the relationship. ok first things first...to quote the zara monica weeeeeee "why cant we be dating and not be together". together in the sense of bf and gf and i totally agree. i mean i was going out with subway girl but i wasnt tgt with her. theres a total difference. and so getting back on point, the relationship im talking abt also includes the dating period and not just the period of time tt u are tgt. so the dating period of course is wonderful but i faced this problem when i was going out with subway girl. i could nv really see myself getting tgt with her for a long term. the thing was i didnt really noe how to say it. i mean when we were out we totally had fun but i just couldnt see it long term (btw im sure most of u tt noe the story noe tt it wasnt the breaking up but how we broke up). and tts the problem during the dating periods. what if u find out u dont see urself tgt with the girl long term. u enjoy going out with her and obviously u want to stay friends with the girl even if u arent tgt but how do u say tt?

and finally the end. im sure tts the worse part for everyone of us tt have been in a relationship except for the blessed few tt are still on good terms with their exs. well i dont really have to say much abt how sucky the process of the break-up is cos its pretty much granted. i didnt really have tt experience though but i think i got something worse. i really think tt a silent break-up is worse than a normal break-up cos u dont really have the closure u need. its like there isnt any chance at all to stay friends and like both of u are totally cut off from one another's lives. and like as u guys are Christians, the pple we date are also Christians and isnt it awful when u cut another Christian from ur life? totally sucky. and then there are some of us tt have the regrets of how they ended (ME!!!), why they ended, why i ended it? and other regrets after the whole thing has ended even yrs after the whole thing has ended and it can haunt us until we find another person which may take yrs and the whole cycle starts all over again. i mean ive put away and sort of come to terms with how it ended with subway girl but once in a while it comes back to haunt me again.

and this is the whole ongoing horror cycle of the relationship. so i have decided after long long hours of thinking tt i entrust my the ONE to God and whoever he has planned for me will come. i dont need to try to chase a girl and force a relationship to happen. these feelings may be just temporary and only love tt is in God is eternal. so why chase after something tt is temporary when God has someone planned for u. all tt u have to do is wait on Him to show the ONE to u. for now, im just happy cos i noe tt im loved. ive got wonderful friends all arnd me tt i noe all love me and ive got the ultimate love EVER!!! LOVE ITSELF!!! GOD!!! wad more can i ask for? and those of u tt still have regrets over past relationships, on opportunities lost, trust tt God has a plan for all this and tt if tt lost opportunity is truly the ONE God has planned for u, he wont be lost in ur life and He will put him back into ur life. but if he is not the ONE, then let God show u who is.

well ive fully preped myself for essay writing now. ill be writing another long essay maybe next week when i have like an hour to kill. i think tts arnd how long it took me to think and type this all out. maybe slightly less but u get the pt. an update on today is tt im totally dead tired cos of the 2 tuitions. ill nv have 2 tuitions on the same day ever again. it totally killed me!!! well tts it from me today. hope u are happy with the long post poh. cyas:)

20/03/10

hey guys, gonna try to keep it short today. first things first, since jan wants it... YOU ROCK JAN!!! haha she totally helped me with the movie and stuff so must really thank her for keeping me sane. well, today wasnt spent really productively. though i managed to do some wrk it isnt much so im gonna continue tmr after tuition. really need ur prayers for tmr cos ive got phys tuition at ghim moh at 2-4 and chem tuition at bishan at 5.30-7.30 and after tt ill be going for my grandma's birthday dinner so really need the energy and tts why im keeping it so short today and im gonna turn in earlier than usual. k then guys. cyas:)

18/03/10

hey guys, yesterday was too tired after coming home to blog. spent the entire day with judith, minfeng, poh and jotham watching movies and whose line. too bad jotham had to go earlier. really had a great time of fellowship and got to noe minfeng better since i havent really had a chance to talk to her before yesterday. tts the great thing abt getogethers like this cos although u see someone all the time in sch and are like considered "friends", u dont really get the chance to talk to each other with the busy sch life and things like tt. so its really great to have getogethers and i cant wait for the next one.

so today was totally spent watching movies for rew and i think we will be screening john q as the movie most prob (keep it a SECRET!!! SSSHHHHHHHH!!!) at night zach (my p5 godbrother) came over to play wii so i played wii from 7+ all the way till 10 and had a good talk with my godmom (cos she brought zach over) too.

well im gonna have to start doing my tuition hmwrk and on my chem hol hmwrk cos im gonna be having tuitions on sat so i wont have time to do my hol hmwrk too. thankfully its mcq so shld be fast. k then im gonna turn in now. i promise to sleep earlier tmr nite cos i will need to get used to the timing again before sch reopens. pls pray for me tt ill have the discipline to finish my wrk and especially pls pray for the comm as all of us are busy with rew so pray tt rew will be carried out smoothly and according to His will. rew will be one of the few big platforms for evangelism to the school body this yr so its quite a big thing so we will need ur prayers. thanks guys. cyas:)

16/03/10

hey guys, today was spent basically on the com. had tuition which was interesting and went out for dinner with my parents. bought Mass Effect 2 so quite happy. just confirmed today too for my phys tuition. cos he's not having lessons next wed he'll be having a lesson on sat so ill be having 2 tuition lessons on sat so ill be really dead after the whole thing.

its been a really long time since i did a post on my qt here so heres today's qt. well today's qt is abt being thankful IN everything. the reason why i emphasised "in" is cos the qt is talking abt how although we cannot be thankful FOR everything, we can be thankful IN everything. i mean obviously its almost impossible to thank God for everything rite? i mean if i got cancer would i be, thank you Lord for giving me cancer? of course not. but to be thankful IN everything means tt i am thankful when God gives me cancer cos i noe tt from tt there will be some good tt comes from it. u guys noe how i always believe tt everything happens for a reason so even if i got cancer, God has a plan for it and good will always come out from it. so i can be thankful in tt situation but obviously not for the cancer. does tt make sense? haha i rmb i kept on saying "does tt make sense?" during my sharing. well so lets all be thankful IN every situation we face, be it good or bad cos we noe tt good always comes out from it. and fyi, i dont have cancer.

k its like super late now and ive gotta wake up at 7.30am tmr so tt i can be at judith's house by 9 for a movie marathon. cant wait. hopefully i wont oversleep like on mon and hopefully tt was a once off thing. well got a new alarm clock at least to help me wake up. haha k then. cyas:)

15/03/10

hey guys, today was a totally embarrassing day. well i overslept today and woke up at like 11+ when i was supposed to have comm meeting at 10 all the way at buona vista when i live in sembawang. if u noe me im usually on time for any cf stuff and like its rare of me to be missing. so the comm ltr told me tt they were like really worried something happened to me or tt i died or something cos im nv missing and like i didnt pick up my calls cos well i was asleep. tt really made me feel guilty and totally embarrassed but well...theres a first time for everything. even including oversleeping. and well...now i noe how much the comm cares for me(not tt i didnt noe tt before). i think its the first time i have ever overslept. the main cause of this whole fiasco is my stupid phone's alarm clock cos for some apparent reason, it didnt sound.

so after waking up and filling the comm in on the progress of the movie over the phone, i rushed down to sch by way of cab (cost me 16 precious bucks) and made it for the last part of the meeting. after tt we went to the swensens at holland for lunch and after tt i went to nlb at bugis to try to study. in the end i spent most of my time playing on my iphone but at least i still managed to complete a few ques on my tuition hmwrk. well went to plaza sing to meet my mom and my sis for dinner at ice monster (which was only mediocre) and came back home after my sis finished her drum lessons over at the yamaha at ps. then spent the rest of the night watching vids and planning the ngs.

well tt was my epic day today with the monumental occasion of oversleeping and missing some activity. i mean ive overslept before but not when ive got something on. well tts it from me today. tmr ive got maths tuition at 4(not sure whether to be sian or nots) and im hoping tt ive got the time to have a movie marathon to scan through the movies tt ive found to hopefully find a suitable one for rew. well gonna turn in now. cyas:)

14/03/10

hey guys, had a great time today l4d2-ing today. really really enjoyed myself. service before tt was great too. helped as an usher today and cos i didnt have the time to change i went laning in my usher clothes.

today has been a really great day and i really thank God for blessing me with such great friends and for giving me this great day. after service i went for lunch with pastor edmund and we discussed abt my ambition to be a youth worker. he told me the pros and cons between trinity and sbc so now i can really make a decision on which college to go to to pursue either a masters or a degree in theology. for now the plan is to get a secular degree in psychology in either smu, nus or jcu (james cook) and then take a masters course in sbc (since sbc only offers masters courses). if in the future i plan to be a pastor in a mainstream church then i might go to trinity after tt but since im only planning to be a youth worker, i wouldnt need to graduate from trinity. so tts my plans for the future as of now. hopefully this wanting to be a youth worker isnt a phase just like my plans to be a game programmer and tt it really is my calling cos i really want to devote my life's work to God. since my passion is to further God's kingdom, i dont really have any interest in any other job except maybe in counselling or something similar to tt.

well today has also been great cos of one last thing tt happened today. u noe abt how im not really interested in the girl i liked? yea i apologised to her today abt the way i acted cos i felt tt i really made it quite awkward and i felt really guilty abt it cos i acted totally wierd. anyways she knew tt i liked her and thankfully we are on good terms now (hope u dont mind me saying this on my blog if u see this, girl tt i liked). the thing was tt i was really afraid tt she would just cut ties with me cos of the awkwardness (which i would not have blamed her for, but i suspected she wouldnt cos she's really nice) and thankfully our friendship has not really suffered from my foolishness.

i noe i havent had a good track record with handling how i express my feelings to a girl i like and i noe tt i make it really awkward. i think it has to do with some scarring from subway girl? haha just kidding...or am i? well wadever the case may be, i just suck at relationships tt go further than friendships in general. hopefully tt changes but oh wells... at least ive got great friends. like who needs a gf when u have so many many many great friends tt u can always talk to. i really thank God for blessing me which such great friends.

well tts my awesome day today. hope u guys are having similarly awesome days too. tmr's theres gonna be comm meeting in sch at 10 so ive gotta wake up at 8 so im gonna turn in now. cyas:)

13/03/10

hey guys, today was quite an uneventful day, woke up at like 1pm and went for tuition at bishan which started arnd 5.30. was quite good but i was quite lost cos he was like going through electrolysis and i totally didnt care abt tt topic last yr since it wasnt tested for promos. so it was good to learn wad i had missed.

if u wanted an update on tt friend thing i talked abt yesterday, i think u might have noticed on my cbox tt we are on good terms. i was a bit tired yesterday so i got quite pissed when she reacted so hostily so i had to talk abt it on my blog (sry tt person) but everythings fine now and ill keep praying for her.

so other than those 2 things tt went on, nothing much happened. OH...just rmbed my dad just went to cambodia to do some stuff tt i cant really recall wad but he might be meeting the drama pple from ac so tts quite cool. but i dont really noe any drama pple (except maybe ishaan and i really dont want anyone to noe i noe him) so its not tt big a deal. well im gonna turn in now since theres church tmr. pastor edmund's coming to speak so tts quite cool. OH!! and im helping usher tmr since the actual usher has to go for RTC camp (so like tmr church is gonna be so few pple since as most of u noe my church's youth grp is like made up of 99.99999999% bb and gb girls with me and my sis the oldest youths tt came from the church so the attendance tmr will be like so pathetic) k then cyas:)

hey guys, really good day today tt might have ended badly. anyways more on the good things first. went playing l4d2 and had loads of fun. been a really long time since i played it but i realised tt i need to get tgt with good players also so tt i can finish a campaign. i mean its fun to play with great friends like jan and jia lei but we always get killed quite easily so im looking for some new partners in l4d2 to play with too. after tt went to buy comics and then had to rush back to sch cos someone caused me to be late. rushed back to prep for my sharing and my heart. well thank God my sharing went well and i think tt the cf-ers benefited from it (hopefully). met some new j1s and managed to have a good time of fellowship with them and had a great time of fellowship today as a whole. so basically the day was going fine.

on a side-note, some exclusive behind the scenes to my prep for my sharing. shared a bit of this to my ng today. well the thing is tt when i realised i had to share abt attitude for evangelism, i realised tt my attitude in the past was nv really good. i sort of did it out of obligation and cos pple were looking at wad i was doing. the main times tt i tried to evangelise were during youth camp and cos i was a group leader i felt obligated to evangelise. there were a few times when i did have the right attitude but those were few and far between. so when i started my prep, it was kinda tough. and cos i didnt have any material to help me and like i had to start from scratch, it was even tougher. thankfully, God spoke to me in many different ways. through sermons in church, devotions in sch or just incidents tt happened to me, i drew so many thoughts from it and immediately took note of them in my iPhone (thank God for my iphone). its really awesome of how God can speak to u and through the prep it helped me rmb these right attitudes too. btw actually i wanted to add perseverance and prayer to the list of attitudes but it didnt fit the acronym but those are 2 attitudes tt i find are really impt too. and i was going to use a analogy abt how we venture to sell our funorama tickets so all the more we shld venture to share our faith but it slipped my mind at tt pt in time. i was like totally nervous at the start but it got better as it progressed but still i was nervous. but thank God tt He still managed to use a nervous wreck like i was.

anyways i was just talking to a friend tt i always thought i was quite close to and like someone i really care abt but i dont noe why but the convo took quite a bad turn. not sure whether i got her when she was alr in quite a bad mood or our relationship has changed but its not something to bother myself rite now. ill settle it tmr and if it still persists ill bitch abt it here. so ill let u noe how it goes. well im gonna turn in now so cyas:)

hey guys, today was quite a fun day after being bored for a few hrs at home. after waking up arnd 11 and using the com, i asked jia lei wad he was doing and he kept on asking me to join him, jeannette and ester to go watch alice. well sad to say it wasent a really good movie but i still had fun talking and hanging out with them. well tts basically wad i did today.

todays qt really struck me cos its wad im always amazed tt happens. u noe how we always learn things like how we shld trust God and stuff especially during a period of stress then when u get stressed out again u forget the lesson and forget to trust God? then amazingly God reminds u again and u rmb to trust God. but the cycle repeats itself over and over again. i mean of course w always make a point not to forget but we are all human and sooner or later we forget again. but the amazing thing tt i find is tt God is so patient and loving tt he constantly reminds us. i mean we forget things so easily and God could just say tt He reminded us alr and its our fault tt we forget the lesson but He is so loving tt He still reminds us after countless times of forgetting. isnt tt really amazing? or isit just me?

well tmr going to l4d2 (WEEEEEE!!!! all u pple tt i asked and said u were busy, its ur loss:P) so im gonna have a great time tmr. then im gonna be sharing during cf so pls pray for me guys. hopefully i can do a good job and glorify Him through my sharing. k im gonna sleep now. cyas:)

hey guys, terms are finally over!!! YAY!!! wells the upside is tt i get to slack now but the downside is tt i have nothing to do!!! since most of my friends take bio, i couldnt go out with anyone today. so i spent the whole day today on the com. and its just tt i find i dont get the same enjoyment out of being on the com as i did in the past. dont get me wrong i still enjoy using the com but its not the same. i really need to be arnd friends. at least i get to meet everyone on fri.

i dont noe why but its always times like these when i wish i had a gf. i guess its mainly the lack of human interaction talking since i noe i dont really want a gf rite now like i said in one of my past posts. sigh...i noe i still can msg my friends but its totally different from meeting them and talking to them face to face. well its only one more day but im gonna be so bored tmr. well its all part of life and at least i still have God. i cant imagine how non-Christians go through these times of loneliness. well its getting late now so i guess im gonna turn in. all the best to all of u still having papers. oh btw ill be sharing on fri so pls pray for me. thx guys. cyas:)

hey guys its getting late so im just checking in before i turn in. ltr im taking my LAST PAPER!!! YAY!!! but its the paper tt i dont even noe wads going on in. hence my fb status if u noticed. the physics department in acjc cant really teach!!! i mean they are nice pple and all but i dont really get much out from the lessons so im gonna be starting on physics tuition soon.

anyways todays qt was abt busyness abt the story abt Mary and Martha and although i find tt we shld always be like both Mary and Martha to a certain extent (like every good GP student noes there shld not be an absolute) cos well if no one wrks to prepare the place for God to wrk, the place is not prepared. so we still must be a bit like Martha in tt we shld prepare the place but we shld not be like her in tt we forget abt God through our busyness. and tts wad i find myself doing lately, especially in CF. i think ive said tt i find myself getting distracted during CF thinking of how NG time shld be conducted and everything so this passage really spoke to me. i really feel tt i shld be enjoying God's presence more during CF instead of bothering abt how to settle the next thing and just let God handle everything. i mean ill do my best to prepare beforehand but i have decided tt when CF starts, ill stop wrying abt wads happening next and just let God take charge. ill still help settle stuff during CF if the need arises but ill not wry abt it until the need arises. i really want to enjoy CF like how i used to enjoy it when i could just enjoy the fellowship with God.

this really opened my eyes and like even now with the NGs and stuff i have decided not to wry abt it so much and ask God for help cos wad can i do without the presence of God in it? how much can i do? well ill just entrust all this things to God and let Him use me for His wrk and not be too busy tt i forget Him. isnt it ironic when u forget God when u do things for Him. its not only ironic but also quite sad i find. so tts my resolution for the new month and ill just let go and let God. k im gonna turn in nowz. cyas:)

hey guys, today's the killer day. maths and chem both h2s. im so gonna be dead after today. anyways im feeling a bit better since yesterday's rant and i really thank the people arnd me for helping me through this bad time in my life. i dont think anyone other than a certain someone has realised tt ive come out of hiatus so i guess u will see this when u see it. anyways im sort of lost in a state of shld i care? but i dont really care dilemma abt my studies. its just tt i feel tt i shld be caring more than i alr do abt my studies but in truth i really couldnt care less. i just feel tt as long as i do my best why wry bout the paper? but i always feel tt i shld be stressed out or something cos pple arnd me are stressed out over their papers which i dont get at all. and some pple are asking me to study more. i totally get why they are asking me to study cos they are worried for me but im just doing wad i think is necessary especially since terms dont really matter.

well if any of u want updates on my love life btw it is in a total state of nonexistence since i realised tt i dont really think of her as someone tt i would want to get tgt with even though i might still have feelings for her? does tt make any sense wadsoever? well its just tt although my heart may skip a beat when i see her i cant really see us tgt and well i guess its for the best anyways since i doubt she has any feelings for me. i guess this would be the first time any of u would noe this so SURPRISE!!! im no longer emoing bout a girl anymore. but im still emoing as usual over other more impt stuff. so all u speculators can stop speculating who it is and all of u tt alr noe who the girl is can just pretend it nv happened cos its not happening. so im single once again (lucky girls rite?) but i really dont see myself getting into a relationship anytime soon (awww too bad girls)

anyways enough of my fake egoness (its fake u noe tt rite?) and its time to sleep. so im gonna turn in and hopefully ill be wide awake tmr to take my 2 papers tmr. and hopefully i dont disappoint ryan (my chem tutor and obviously not ranjiv singh, u noe how i feel abt the extra sji boy) k then cyas:)

HIATUS OVER!!!

hey guys the long dreaded hiatus is finally over. wad really got me to start writing again is tt i really felt tt my life was going through a crappy stage. its like i dont really noe wads wrong just tt something is wrong. well terms are gonna start in a few hrs but thankfully the papers tt i have today arent tt bad. anyways as most of u noe i dont really get stressed out over my studies so tt cant be the reason im feeling crappy right?

well maybe cf is tiring me out. i sometimes find myself asking whether im doing more than wad is expected of me. so maybe its just my own fault im tired out. my portfolio is alr so much and maybe im too nice or wadever trying to help my other comm members out but isnt tt wad i as a comm member shld do? i mean if i see tt someone needs my help obviously i cant just leave the person to do it by themselves. if i can help why not help rite? actually i think tt the main thing tt totally crapped my life are the j1s. i mean the j1s are totally cool and i love them but i just dont noe how to do things to accommodate them. like the ngs. oh my pong the ngs. THE NGS!!!!!! tt totally stresses me out. finding the ngls and sorting them out was totally tough but now tt ive gotten the ngs totally nicely in place, i cant find ngls tt are willing to take up the responsibility. i mean the responsibility isnt tt much but if they feel tt it isnt wad God has in store for them who am i to argue? its just tt its really tough to find regular CF-ers who are able to be ngls. i mean if i can get the councillors to be ngls my life would be so easy but they arent regular cos of their council stuff and there are other pple tt i would like to use tt are just too busy.

just to make a slight tangent, i realised something today tt made me come back to writing. is life so crappy tt i have no time to write or isit crappy cos i dont write. i mean after i started this blog my life really was more lifted cos i could express my feelings but after getting too distracted with my life i didnt really get to express my feelings. i tried talking it out with my good friends but its really different when u get to type it out. and so back to the point abt my crappy life. i think another part abt cf tt stresses me out is tt im wondering why pple cant help me when im like going arnd helping pple. not to name names but sometimes its just so hard when u ask for some help and their reason why they cant help is tt they are too tired or some other crappy reason. i mean arent i tired too? and then u tell me because u are too tired why not just scrap the whole idea and then u blame me as ur reason for scrapping the idea in the first place. why not u just tell me tt u are too tired and tt i shld go by myself to get the stuff. i mean its better than telling me to scrap the idea. i dont want to praise myself or anything and i dont really care whether u noe wad i do for cf cos all tt matters is tt the pple tt matter noe but i went to buy stuff for the cf welcome tea even though i was really sick. i mean those of u tt saw me sick knew i was totally zoning out and dying but i still went out of my way to get the stuff. and u give me this stupid reason tt u are too tired? i mean of course u give me tt reason i wont force u lahs but come on. i noe tt u are stressed out and busy with ur sch wrk but cant u just help me out abit?

dont get me wrong. i love helping other pple out be it for chapel or the birthday stuff but why cant anyone help me when i need it? its just so screwed up. actually im not really pissed at the comm as pple cos i really really love them but its just their wrk ethic mainly tt pisses me off. in some sort of way i feel tt our portfolios are so different tt basically when we wrk we are sort of segregated. i mean decisions we will always make as a comm but when it comes to our individual portfolios such as discipleship or worship, its all just the pple in charge. so tts why there is not much help given in between each area of cf. well tts wad it may seem like but we still can help each other even if we dont noe the other area well. its just tt i dont see much of this help given rite now. and i dont noe why tt is. maybe its just me. maybe its not. how shld i noe.

i just find myself so stressed out over cf tt even during worship im busy msging the ngls abt ng time and trying to settle stuff (sry ngls) so i just feel tt there is a lot of burden as the discipleship ic cos like the whole running of the cf session is under my portfolio. the schedule the speaker the topic are all under me. wad one comm member said also has given me some stress. i mean its of course a valid point(all her points always are) but she asked me to make sure ng time is fun. tt sort of gave me additional stress cos i have given ng time up to the ngls to carry out as and how they like it and i dont really want to usurp the authority tt i have given them in a sense. like i dont want to tell them how to run their ng time. so now the stress tt i have is tt wad if ng time is not fun or even good? i mean before the j1s came in everyone knew each other and just had fun talking but now if the j1s dont have fun or does not enjoy ng time, would they come back again? and if tt is the case am i to blame? if the topic does not seem exciting or fun and the j1s are turned off by it am i to blame? am i to blame if the cf meeting does not go well? actually i just figured out wad is wrong with me in cf. i keep on thinking whether i am to blame and it just puts on the burden.

well ive ranted off quite a bit and i sort of have more things to say but its getting late and ive got papers tmr so im gonna go off rite now. cyas:(

There are no degrees of honesty. there is honest or dishonest. truth or lie. no somewhat honest or lie once in a while. only honest, truth and trustworthiness shld exist!!

HIATUS!!!! AGAIN!!!!

hey guys, since mr koh wants me to update so badly. heres a quick update. life in jc2 is soooooper hectic so havent had the time to update. so im calling for a hiatus again until i get my life back in order. so here are a few quick highlights in my life to keep u guys updated. really had an enjoyable time surprising last night. auditioning for arts night on tues (doesnt really matter whether we get in or not...its all for the fun of it). planning welcome tea. planning REW (must pray for the whole comm). studystudystudy. passed my maths sub paper but failed chem by half a mark. hopefully dont have to go ssp so tt i can concentrate on cf. will have to start planning for cf camp soon. going to crash orientation on thurs and fri since i end early. today going to surprise another friend for her birthday. studystudystudy. chionging hmwrk.

phew... tts enough updates for u mr koh? haha well hope this post will last u until im free again. well tts it from me for the next few days/weeks/months/years. cyas:)

OPEN HOUSE!!!

hey guys, today had open house. really draining but had lots of fun. it was a day well spent and really enjoyed my time even though i was bored during the later parts of the open house. hopefully we have promoted the awareness of CF as a cca and when the new batch of j1s come in they would choose to join cf. well tts it from me today. really tired and need to sleep soon. cyas:)

Today/Yesterday/Tmr

hey guys, just gonna do a quick one. today did my chem sup paper and did my maths sup paper yesterday. thank God they were relatively easy and i managed to do most of the ques. hopefully i pass. haha well there's open house tmr which im sure will be fun. pls pray tt we will be able to garner interest in CF so tt when the j1s come in they would be interested to join CF. well tts it from me for today. cyas:)

Sch Starts Tmr/Today!!!

hey guys, really feel quite down today. as some of u noe, i have managed to get a speaker for the cf camp in june. i was so happy when he said ok but i realised i forgot to clear it with the teachers and pastor joel. so i felt really bad abt tt. i msged ms mai abt it and she said to just check with pastor joel and to not do it again. then pastor joel told me tt it wasnt proper procedure (which i totally noe and felt bad cos of it) and told me to ask pastor ming to send an official invitation to him. i noe they didnt really say anything bad to me but i still feel quite bad tt i made such a mistake. wad if it was someone who is not theologically sound and after inviting the person i had to turn him away? thankfully the person tt i asked was a really good speaker and ms mai and pastor joel had no problems with him.

well im just hoping tt there are no lasting repercussions cos of my dumbness. pls pray for me tt ill learn from this mistake and move on. pray for me also tt ill be alert and be able to do my math sub paper tmr at 2.30pm to the best of my abilities and pray for the cf comm as they prepare the stuff for open house on wed. i wont be able to help them tmr cos ive got the paper and i gotta study for my chem sub paper on tues. well turning in super early today (relatively) so tt ill be well rested tmr. cyas:)

Comfort

hey guys, today was another ordinary day with the game programming course. last lesson today other than the test next sat so YAY!!!! well after tt went for the prayer meeting and really prayed for the church. after tt went for dinner with the church members to sembawang shopping centre and had a nice fellowship. after tt went home and tried to study but quite fail lahs.

well today's qt was on 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. it really shows how God will comfort us and tt we shld respond by comforting others. reflecting upon this, i really feel tt God has comforted me a lot lately and has even sent my friends to comfort me through their care and concern. well im not sure whether i have comforted anyone in turn by i really try to show care and concern to as many pple as possible. not cos of some obligation or wadever but because i truly care for them. i think God has really blessed me with this caring heart and although it can be a burden sometimes (like caring for someone in pain so much tt i feel the pain too), i still feel tt it is a blessing tt it enables me to become a blessing to other pple. so if u are in pain, be assured tt God will comfort u, be it through the pple arnd u or other means. and for those tt have been comforted by God, pass on the comfort to those arnd u tt need it and bless them.

well tts it for my qt. gonna sleep alr if not im gonna fall asleep in church. haha pray for me tt ill be able to stay awake tmr during service and to be able to study tmr. SUB PAPERS ARE REALLY NEAR!!!! oh and pls pray for all the ogls cos i think some of them might be falling sick or losing their voices after the tiring camp and all tt cheering. well tts it for today. cyas:)

I CANT THINK OF ANY TITLES!!!

hey guys, my creative juices are srsly drained now. cant think of any new title for the post. well i think its either a lack of sleep or stress but my brain is like on dream mode these few days. really cant think.

well today i srsly sort of broke down. sort of went emo today. it first started after dinner when i just got mad at my dad for something tt he did (not gonna tell u wad it was:P) and after tt got really emo. started to really feel a burden in how im serving God and everything. i mean im serving God wholeheartedly in CF but when i look at my church life, i feel tt im not really serving Him in church and additionally, i really dont feel attached to my church the way i think i shld. i mean i like my church and everything but there isnt this feeling tt i will stay in it for the rest of my life. i have grown up in Glory Joy since i was young and i love the pple in there, its just for some reason i feel something missing.

well after my dad and i cleared everything up, i really poured out everything to my parents. u see, im really worried abt how pple see me. i dont really care abt their opinion of me as a person, since really only wad God sees matters, but i want pple to see a good testimony in me. the problem is tt because im so busy with sch and cf, i dont seem very committed in church. my parents have been worried abt my studies and have asked me not to attend cell grp since im alr getting my spiritual feeding through cf. and i mean tts a valid reason but do the youths in my church noe tt? im not really worried abt the older ones cos im sure they understand but for the younger ones, they may think tt its ok to not go for cell grp cos a deacon's son does not go without noeing the true reason why.

i mean even after the yf is implemented i will of course be attending regularly but once in a while i might not be able to go cos of some sch or cf event and the younger ones may think tt its ok to skip yf once in a while. u see, im not really worried abt how they might think of me but im worried of wad they may think its ok without noeing the whole story. tts wad has really burdened me. they might also see me not really actively serving in church and think tt there is no need to serve.

i really feel burdened for these young pple and tts why i really want the yf to succeed. i initially really wanted to help out but thinking abt it, i really do not have the time to commit myself. when i told my parents this, they really understood where im coming from and like told me tt there is a season for everything. this might be the season where im serving God through CF and there may come a season where im helping out in the yf but its all in God's timing. all i have to do is trust God and His timing. and on the being a testimony part, they said it was something tt cannot be helped and the only thing tt i can do is to pray tt they would come to understand the whole story.

well on my church, i really love my church and the adults. i have grown up with them and they have seen me grow. the real problem i find is with myself mainly. i mean i think im just too different from the other church members. i just cant click with them. i can talk to the adults but the age gap is too big tt we cant be close. the youths on the other hand tt are arnd my age and younger have too different a background tt we dont really have much to talk abt. most of them speak more chi than me too so like i dont get some of their jokes. then comes the young adults. they are the grp tt i can speak most comfortably with but cos of the age gap too there comes sort of like a barrier? i noe tt the older guys try to include me in once in a while but i still feel left out sometimes. i noe it cant be helped so im just glad tt they try. so cos of who i am, i really dont feel like i belong in the church. quite ironic rite, i have been in the church longer than any of the young adults or youths but i feel the least belonged. and tts one of the reasons im quite in favour of merging with BCC cos i feel more comfortable with their youths than my own. this has really put some thoughts of changing church in my mind but well tts something for sometime in the far flung future.

when i expressed this to my parents, they told me tt i shld continue to try to integrate myself with the church and tt if really God leads me to another church in the future, they would support me but as long as God has placed me in this church, to make the most out of it. anyways i wouldnt leave the church without seeing the youths grow first. tt is my burden first and foremost and i feel tts wad God wants me to do. maybe now, maybe sometime in the future, ill just have to wait. i still love the church anyways so its not bad staying in this church tt i have grown in.

i mean maybe its cos of the tiredness or stress tt made me think of all these thoughts or maybe its God making me think. i dont noe why i had these feelings but i really thank God for parents who are able to help me through difficult times such as these and friends tt i noe i can talk to. well tmr got the game programming course again. then after tt gonna rush down to the church building for our monthly prayer meeting. pls continue to pray for me tt ill continue to trust God in His timing and for me to have strength for tmr. wow another super long post. thx for reading this if u made it all the way. k then gonna turn in soon. cyas:)

Treasures

hey guys, really boring day today again. really regret paying the 1500 bucks to suck my holidays away. at least i get to study. stayed back after the class to study and to pass to jan the yjc chem papers tt i helped her print out (a*hem 7 *cough* pm). haha anyways i enjoy helping pple so staying back for a little while wasnt tt big a deal. anyways ill start on my qt first and update abt my life ltr:)

well today's qt is on Luke 12:13-21. go read it first. well srsly i feel really guilty after reading this passage as im always caught by earthly treasures. money, games, COMICS. well i noe tt me buying these things arent bad but sometimes i find myself more focused on getting these earthly treasures tt i neglect to use the money for heavenly treasures. i mean i dont help pple for the heavenly treasures but i find myself not willing to help pple cos i would rather keep the money tt i have to buy something tt i want. well thank God tt i have been changing more and more especially since last yr and this passage has also reminded me of how much God has changed me and now i dont really mind spending money to help pple out.

well earthly treasures may seem very attractive but there is really no greater joy than using these treasures for heavenly purposes. so lets all use our earthly treasures to help others instead of keeping them to ourselves. use our earthly treasures to bless other pple. i mean tts wad i believe why we are blessed with so many earthly treasures. its to share the blessings with other pple and to show them God's love. even if u do not have many earthly treasures, share wad u have. wads the use of earthly treasures anyways if we dont use them to show God's love since we cant take them with us to heaven.

haha well tts it for my qt. tmr yet again im going to sch. might be having dinner at ikea if everything goes rite. pray tt the paint store at dover has the varnish tt jiap needs cos if not i might have to make my way to somewhere else to find it. well pls pray for me too tt ill be able to last through the class tmr and tt ill be able to study well even with the noise of the ogls cheering. but more imptantly, pls pray for the ogls again. i can see tt they are really really really tired after everyday and like 3 days in a row of cheering and high-ness is really no joke so pls pray for them to have the strength to last through the last day and for them to stay healthy and safe tmr. well tts it from me today. gonna turn in nowz. cyas:)

Post 65!!

hey guys, boring day today doing the game programming thing. well at least i got to study today. so glad i could help some pple out today bringing stuff tt pris and jo needed for their camp. i srsly enjoy helping pple out. dont noe why...im wierd tt way. well at least my trip to sch wasent wasted.

well todays qt really struck me (i realised i use the word struck alot). well if u read my cbox, joyce asked me not to wry so much and guess wad my qt is? its on Matthew 6:25-34. (go take ur bible, ill wait:) well the passage made me reflect and i asked myself, "why shld i wry when God will take care of me?" i guess its human nature but i feel as though God is telling me tt He will bring me through this period. tt He will bring me through my sub papers. and after thinking somemore, i asked myself, "then wad abt the girl? there is no problem too small for God and He will bring me through this problem too. all i have to do is trust Him." i mean im sure He has a time for everything and if it is in His will, the relationship will happen in His time. i just have to act like how i am and let God take care of the rest.

i think tt this topic abt wrying and trust has been talked abt alot in this blog so i wont bore u guys. its really true tt during different times, the same topic can impact u differently. i mean before i wouldnt have applied "Do Not Worry" to a relationship but during this period, i see it differently and how to apply it in this part of my life. tts one of the things tt i have taken out of the YA silent retreat is tt at different stages and times of ur life, the same passage can mean different things to u. so like if u see a passage during ur qt tt u have read 28319874914981724 times before, dont toss it aside and look for another passage, read it and meditate upon it again. who noes wad new insights u can gleam from the same passage.

well gonna turn in now. slightly earlier than normal but well im dead tired from the whole day in sch. but im sure the ogls are even more deader and tireder so pls pray for them tt they will stay healthy and tt they will be safe tmr. k then tts it for today. cyas:)

SIANZZZZZ

hey guys, gonna keep this quite short hopefully cos ive gotta go to sch tmr. having my stupid game programming course again which is gonna suck up all of my time hence the title. hopefully can get some studying done during the breaks. well im gonna start on my qt and talk more after tt:)

well i finished my daily bread alr so i used a passage tt was given during the YA silent retreat for my qt. it was on Proverbs 3:1-10:

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

and like it really spoke to me. well u noe how stressed i have been lately, the famous verse 3:5-6 really reminded me to continue to trust in Him even though i dont noe where He is leading me. just noe tt it is for the best. and verse 9-10 really spoke to me as well:

9 Honor the LORD with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;

10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

i mean sometimes we dont want to give tithes cos i prevents us from buying things tt we want. i admit tt i have felt tt way before but this really goes to show tt if u give unto God, He will give unto u. i mean technically, everything tt we have belongs to Him rite? but He is just asking us for a meagre 10% of our income. how can we not give tt 10% unto Him? i really feel guilty for having placed material wealth before Him in the past and have really decided to give Him tithes every month. it is just something tt we as Christians shld do. some of us might say, "oh im too young. im not working yet. i dont have an income." but wad abt our allowance? isnt tt something tt God has blessed us with? well then we shld give Him 10% of tt too. and we shldnt just stop there. tithes is totally different from offering and we shld still give offering. really we shld give unto God wad we have. isnt the promise of blessing us incentive enough?

well tts it for the qt. gonna be going to sch tmr as i said above. really really really sian. the ogls are having camp tmr so pls pray for them tt they will be safe and have fun. well tts it from me today. cyas:)

YAY TUITION!!!!

heys guys, gonna keep it short today cos im gonna continue studying after this. finally got a tuition teacher and he is not bad. having tuition tmr again and hopefully he can help me pass promos. really thank God for him and joyce who intro'ed him to me.

dont noe why but im still quite confused over how im feeling. maybe cos im in sort of an isolation and need to meet pple. suddenly im a pple person. so wierd. i mean i used to like being alone with my com and playing but nowadays after a few hrs on the com i really feel tt i need to talk to someone. and i dont mean msn, i mean someone face to face. i feel as though im wasting my life spending it alone cos wads the use of living if u dont impact someone's life? i find tt as long as i spend time with someone, im making a difference to his/her/its life. it doesnt matter if its just to chat or to play lan or wadever but by spending time with someone, i think tt they would feel tt they matter to u. wouldnt u want to feel like u matter to someone? and the time tt u spend listening to someone's problems i feel is the best time tt friends can have together. it doesnt matter if u cannot do anything abt it but i feel tt a listening ear and an encouraging word can do wonders to how someone feels.

i just really enjoy being with pple and making a difference to their lives by spending time with them. so it really aches me to be stuck at home wasting my life through. but me being stuck here doesnt mean u have to. (except to those grounded...im sry) go out and spend time with ur friends. be there for them and show someone tt they matter.

well tts it for now. I NEED MY FRIENDS!!!! i really miss my friends. its just been 2 days since the cf bbq but i need pple!!! i noe i have God and i really enjoy my time with Him but there are no pple tt i can share His love with. cant wait for sch to start. omp since when did i change so much? i still rmb when i would love to pon sch. haha well cant wait to see u guys again. gonna go study nows. cyas:)

I Dont Noe Wad To Do

hey guys, totally wierd day i had today. i have had like conflicting feelings the whole day and i think i might be going through mood swings. haha dont noe for wad reason.

well today started off quite badly with a headache but i managed to get something out of church today. the theme for this yr in church is discipleship which of course is very close to my heart. as the discipleship ic i really feel burdened (in a good way) with the discipleship and i really want to run it well. the sermon was really good as pastor lai preached on wad a disciple was. in my dream like state i still managed to gleam some pts from the sermon and i really cant wait for cf to start again so tt i can continue the discipleship prog.

after lunch (and cutting my hair) i came home and took a nap after showering and woke up at 5. i dreamt tt i totally broke down from the stress of sch wrk and tried committing suicide (dont wry im not tt stupid) but i think tt showed me how stressed out i really am cos i guess dreams are part of ur subconcious? well anyways didnt really have much of a mood to study the whole day so i went to read some comics and talk to my parents.

after dinner until now, ive been hooked on the com. but not just cos im playing. ive been hooked on these vids on youtube which led me to this really good website where they post sermons called lifechurch.tv at www.lifechurch.tv. check the msgs out. i find some of them quite good.

then like towards midnight, for some reason i cant stop thinking abt the girl and im like totally getting distracted. which totally proves my theory tt i get more distracted before a relationship than when i get into one. maybe im just wierd tt way? anyways i feel really down rite now for some reason or another. i like totally gave up going after the girl but i cant stop thinking abt her. WHY?! ive been praying for God to help me not get distracted but why am i still distracted by the thought of her? im srsly quite 烦 (woah ME using chi) rite now and i just want to concentrate on studying.

poh like asked me to go to sch and study with him tmr but im like too tired to leave the house and want to spend as much time at home as possible cos im gonna have to start going to sch again when my digipen course starts again from 6-9 and on the 16 again. super sianzzzzzz. anyways ill be wasting travel time too. oh ive finally found a maths tuition teacher thx to joyce. YAY!!! she just introduced me to him today and like he is so efficient unlike weiying's one. haha he like msged me back quite fast and im having tuition tmr nite. hopefully the 2 hrs can at least help me pass the sub paper. and since he is coming i dont think its necessary to go to sch to ask poh abt maths. well gonna turn in now so tt i can wake up early tmr. yesterday's post made me sleep super late and i dont think i want to repeat tt again. but at least tt post was therapeutic. cyas:)

Stuff That I Want To Say

hey guys, got a lot of things weighing on my mind today and so this will be a reeeeaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy long post. well i didnt post yesterday cos i was busy playing guitar hero world tour tt i just got until 11pm and after tt went to pick up my sis from the budget terminal (which is really budget) cos she came back from hong kong. well tt was yesterday and today i really enjoyed myself fellowshipping with the cf-ers at the bbq gathering. but well, i was still thinking abt my wrk at tt time and was still quite stressed over it. and tts where the problems started...

well the hols are coming to an end and well, as usual im stressed out over my studies, over the cf prog for next yr and although i shldnt be, the yf situation at church. im gonna be ranting over my probs in the above areas next so as always, if u cant stand my ranting, just skip over the next few paras.

so as most of u noe, ive got sub papers at the start of the sch yr. and well...im still way behind on my revision and my maths is killing me. i noe i get distracted really often but tts not the main prob. its tt i keep not noeing how to do the ques and its just really frustrating. a lot of pple have told me tt i can look for them for help but i really dont want to bother them. the tuition teacher tt weiying introduced to me has not told me when he is free yet so i basically have no help. i just really feel lost when i get down to wrk so i think tts why i distract myself further with either the com or going out. but i still am reminded abt my wrk somehow and i guess tt makes me more stressed when im out cos i feel like i shld be studying instead of being outside.

the cf schedule is not really the stressful thing rite now. its just tt with all the distractions and stress from mainly the studying i have to do, i cant really focus on the schedule and praying abt it. and well tts quite frustrating. i seek the Lord for help but the waiting is also the killer rite now. i have to send out all these things to the comm and teachers but i dont seem to have any direction from God. i feel God is slowly speaking to me and i have a direction for some of it but its like the other parts are missing. and so as i wait upon the Lord, sometimes i get frustrated with why He isnt speaking to me.

then comes the yf. i noe im not really responsible for it or anything so i shldnt feel stressed but i still do feel somewhat responsible for it. tts why i have been going arnd giving my opinions to anyone who would hear them. i feel responsible cos i feel tt God has put me in cf for the experience and exposure to this kind of thing and i just feel responsible to all those pple tt we have lost and for those tt have not been fed to bring them back and to feed them. so i feel somewhat powerless to fulfil this sense of responsibility tt i have and well tts srsly frustrating. like have u felt the burden to do something but had no power to do anything abt it? tts how i totally feel rite now. i mean i dont want to overstep my boundaries (my parents taught me well k?) and like ask to be in the comm cos its being run by the young adults.

well tt is basically wads burdening my heart rite now and well i really thank God for such great friends and a really great comm to help me through this time. kim has really helped me in coming out with the direction for this yr and jiap has really encouraged me to wrk hard for my studies and to trust Him always. just before writing this post, jiap talked to me abt my studies and her words really encouraged me. and i really thank God for the rest of my comm who are always there whenever i need someone to talk to, especially jan. my fam has also really been a blessing to me with my parents being so understanding abt my results and my fam helping me in my spiritual walk with God and being a sound board for all my thoughts abt the yf. oh and guess wad, after doing my qt, He has shown me the rest of His plan for discipleship. Praise the Lord!!

i think tt God is really teaching me abt trusting Him and realising the pple tt He has blessed me with.

but yet another thing really struck me quite recently. i have been having some sort of identity crisis lately and well i dont really noe wad to do. for all my friends tt i say im close to, i think only a few have seen all my diff personalities. maybe i have a case of split personalities or wadever it may be, i just find tt its so difficult for pple to truly noe me. the pple in cf noe me as the nice, happy person (i think) but some pple who do not noe me tt well may think im this mean person who likes to suan pple (IM ONLY JOKING!!!). to my class im this quiet person who sleeps during class. to my churchies who im not really close to, im this serious, quiet but nice person and to those who noe me better, the fun, nice person. i find tt i used to be really quiet but since joining cf, i have become more sociable. im try to always be nice (hopefully tt can be seen) but i like to joke a lot (yea i noe a lot of it can be really lame) and so pple who used to think of me as this serious person dont really get my jokes and think tt im serious when im joking. its like really hard cos those who noe me noe tt im joking while those tt dont noe me would think im serious and have a bad impression of me. but i find tt if i change myself further, im gonna have a really serious case of an identity crisis. who am i really, the nice, caring, quiet, serious guy? or the nice, caring, fun-loving, joking guy? well at least the two identities are similar in tt im both nice and caring and well tts just who i am (i hope). could u pls let me noe who u think i am? do i really seem like the fun-loving, joking guy or is tt all in my head? do u find tt im nice or caring? or is tt in my head to? i think i just realised i have self-esteem issues but tts for another post. i just need everyone to noe who i am. i just need to noe tt first.

well i think tts all ive gotta say today. i really thank God for reminding me to trust in Him and to thank Him for all the blessings tt He has given me. gonna sleep now cos got church tmr. wow i just spent 1 hr typing this. haha ok ill just leave u with this vid. rmb my first ever post where i said tt this vid tt jiap showed spoke to me? well saw it on the salt blog and found it on youtube so here it is.



cyas:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

hey guys, gonna keep it short today. forgot to post last nite after studying so much. had a great time yesterday fellowshiping with the senior and junior comms and really had fun play street fighter IV. really felt the joy when i saw how happy they were when they opened their presents. it is indeed much greater to give than to receive. after tt had dinner at kap with andrea and ian and had a great time chatting with them.

so i had a great time at watch night service toady and the fellowship after tt. cant believe its 2010 alr. time has really passed so fast. the past yr has been filled with regrets over my time spent not studying and sleeping in class but it has really been a milestone in my Christian life and was a yr where i met many great pple tt i hope will stay in contact with through the rest of my life. the j2s (j3s?) have come into my life and have now gone on to their next stages in their lives but i hope tt i have impacted their lives in some way or another in the brief yr tt we were together and i hope tt we will continue to be each other's lives even as they go on with their lives.

pastor lai gave a really compelling sermon today and has really inspired me to wrk harder in the new yr as i want it to be a milestone yr and not an ordinary, time wasted yr. hopefully i will impact the lives of my juniors and will continue to impact the lives of the people in my batch. as the yr closed, gliderz to will be closing to make way for the yf in church. i entered the gliderz comm last yr and have really benefited from it, maybe not spiritually but more of learning new things. hopefully i will make an impact as the yf is being implemented and this yr will be the start of something new (HSM!!!) and something great tt will further His kingdom. hopefully ill be able to honour God through my studies and through my wrk in CF.

the yr ahead will be fraught with trials and tests but with God by my side and with myself walking closely with God (its a 2-way thing). im sure tt He will bring me through the yr a more matured person and a better person overall. i pray tt at the end of this yr, ill be able to look back and be proud of wad i have done and will always rmb this yr for the milestones tt i have made.

well tts my thoughts on the new yr and pls post ur new yr's resolutions (if any) on my cbox. haha so tt we can all help u fulfill ur resolutions (i noe how hard it is to keep one). i think tt in the end there wont be any but no harm in asking. well gonna watch some vids before turning in. GONNA GET GUITAR HERO 4 TMR!!! haha cant wait. well tts it from me today then. cyas:)